Chapter 3
Louis POV
"What happened with you?" Liam asked me, when we saw each other again at dinner.
What happened to me? I spent to bawl my eyes the last few hours out. Secretly I always hoped that I will get to know my kids one day. So many times I couldn't sleep at night and regreted that I left Marlie and the children. It was a shitty feeling, whom you know that you have children, without ever being able to see them. I've been several times on the verge to drive to Marlie and ask her for forgiveness. But we had a deal, I didn't want to break it. This was the only reason I always stayed away from them. I was pleased that I got the chance now to see my kids, but the price was way too high. Marlie was going to die. I still couldn't understand it.
She actually didn't look terminally ill. It was simply inconceivable that she would be dead in a few months. I could imagine even less than to be father of two children. This responsibility scared me. How should I explain it to El? I lied to her all these years. I had to tell it my family also. I didn't tell anyone ever about Marlies pregnancy. They had not the slightest clue. And then there was the matter with the band. If I really accept full responsibility for my children, they might kick me out of the band. My carefree life would be definitely over, but that was not what mattered now. My children need me. That was the only thing that was important. I had to step myself back. I already lived too long my selfish life.
"Earth on Louis!" I heard Liam saying.
"Sorry, I was in my thoughts."
"What's wrong?" Liam asked me again but now critical.
"Nothing, everything is okay!"
"Don't lie at me! You really look like shit!"
"I can't talk about this now. Don't get me wrong! You will get to know soon enough!"
He looked at me skeptical but accept my statement.
"When you want to talk, say it!"
"Thank you!"
While all happily chatted during eating, I couldn't help to sit absent at the table just to think about my decision well. El would leave me for sure. I loved her and didn't want to lose her, but this will happen. We talked not long ago about having our own children, but this has to wait now, if I suddenly had two children that I had to take care about.
El wouldn't last this long. I couldn't do her any accusation. I think I also wouldn't be happy if my girlfriend suddenly had two children that would the most important now. Hopefully I could stay in the band. That was my purpose in life. Maybe it was possible to be a father and a Popstar at the same time. Many famous men had also children. They just weren't a single parent. Also, I didn't want any Nannys for my children. And than when they go to school, trips could be only made during the holidays. But did I really want my children always spending their holidays on the road? I would hardly have time for them and would have constantly to work. I didn't even want to know what the management would do in a situation like this. I could already see how they would try to represent me as tough father. It also wouldn't surprise me if they try do Marlies blow big in the medias. Probably they want to tug Emma and Alex also in spotlight, but that would only happen over my dead body. I would protect these two with my life! I owned this to Marlie! I have already made my decision a long time ago. Emma and Alex were my children and they were henceforth in my life now.
"Are you still mad because of what happened earlier on?" asked me Harry when we were on our way back to the hotel. "I overreacted a bit." he admit sheepish.
"It's okay."
"What is going on with you than? You haven't said one word in the last couple of hours!"
