Chapter 1
Marlie POV
Cancer. I thought about everything but not with that. I was young. Just 21 years old. At this age you don't have lung cancer at final stage, especially I've never smoked. It wasn't fair. The doctor told me that this kind of lung cancer was really rarely and that it almost never occur at my age. This doesn't help me at all, than it got ME and none other. I will die!!
It started really harmless with a cough, this cough didn't want to disappear. Someday I've got breathless, but with two little children I didn't have time to visit the doctor. When I started to spew blood, I went to the doctor and got straight away the "Horrordiagnose". The tumor spreaded out over all these years without I noticed and now it was to late. The docotor told that neither an operation or chemotherapy will help me. I should do the best things I could in my last months. It had been a blow in my face. The week after this horror news, I fell in a deep hole. I didn’t leave my apartment for days, the only thing I did: I cried. I cried untill no tears came out anymore. Than I started to scream my anger into my pillow. I had two little kids. What should happen with them ? They need me! They had only me! I didn’t tell them yet, they they won’t have a mum anymore. I haven’t the heart yet to tell them. How do you want to tell this to a 4 year old kid? My son and daughter were the reason who gave me power that I didn’t fall into a depression. But my biggest worry was; What will happen with Emma and Alex when I’m death? My parents were nursing case on their own and lived in an old people’s home. They loved my children but they weren’t able to take care oft them. I also didn’t have any siblings, aunts or uncles. I had a big circle of friends but they were all students, they didn’t have time or money to take care of two kids.
I only saw one loophole: Louis Tomlinson. He was the father or I better say he was the genitor. The pregnancy wasn’t planed at all. Louis and I were a couple at this time and after a long night I only forgot to take the pill. Louis has two set of twins in his family so it wasn’t really surprising that I was also pregnant with twins. At the beginnning of my prenancy he was against it but time to time I got alon with being pregnant. He didn’t feel ready for this and I understood him. Nobody was ready with 17 to raise up two children but I wasn’t less ready for an abortion. So I kept them. The realtionship wih Louis broke and it was clear that he was simply overstrained with this situation. So I offered him that he doesn’t have to deal with this situation at all but with the condition that his decission was finally. I didn’t want that he will appear after years because he thinks that diffrent about this. I wanted a cealr proportion between us. He decided against his family and left the town to take part at a castingshow. Admittedly I didn’t believe that he will have success, because he wasn’t the best singer at all. But he had luck: He got put together in a boyband and he got through show for show. Even One Direction didn’t win X-Factor, the wave of success already started. The first hit came. The fandom got bigger ad bigger, the Arenas, in which the sang got also bigger and eventually he was an international star.
Two children wouldn’t fit in a Pop-Star-Life but now I can’t show any consideration. I didn’t know to who I should go instead. I didn’t want them to have to life in a children’s home or in a foster family. Who know what will happen there ? Maybe they would get separated or even abused or what ever what! I knew that Louis was a good person, even he left me few years ago. He was my last hope. I needed to break our agreement and hope that he is now more interessed at his children. I was really afraid oft he moment I will see him again. I couldn’t appraise how he will react or how I will. It happened way to much since we say us the last time.
I flew together with Emma and Alex just beacause of this to London. My best friend Laura joined us. I didn’t have any adress or a phone number of Louis. So I had to bushwhack him like every other girl. Because of this I was standing infront oft he Bush Studios, where Once Direction should be recording a new album. I wasn’t allone. There were standing like 2 thousand screaming teenagers all around me and I really felt wrong being here. I left Emma and Alex with Laura. I didn’t want them tob e with me when I will see Louis again. Besides this this wasn’t a place for ittle kids.
