This Isn't Me.

No trust issues here...

"Layla..?" A knock on the door accompanied my brother's voice.

"Come in!" I called from the bed. Where else? It even surprised me how much effort those two simple words took now.

Alex pushed the door open a crack and poked his head through. Smiling at me, "Someone to see you..." he announced softly. I gave him a bemused look, 'visitor' isn't exactly a part of my vocabulary any more. That view was challenged a moment later when a baby faced brunette joined him at my bedroom door.

"Lou...?" I croaked, my voice faltering through sheer shock at seeing the sweetest deserter I'd ever known prove that she was just plain sweet- Lou was here. Here to see me, not deserting me like everyone else seemed to be.

"LAAAAAAY!" She squealed and ran to me, arms outstretched, stopping abruptly at my bedside wearing a guilty expression along with her floral dress and pixie boots, "You really are sick, aren't you Lay?" She asked, eyes widening as she looked at me.

"Do I look that bad!?" I tried for a light-hearted tone and smile. My voice wavered though, as frustrating as it is for people to think you don't 'look' sick even though you feel like your body is tearing itself apart from the inside, when one of your formerly close friends stares at you in shock, horror written all over their face at the state of you...? That's hard to handle.

"No, sweety... It's just... Okay I can't lie to you! You look so... Not you! You are always the energetic one, rosy cheeks, shiny hair... So pretty... You're still pretty!" Lou rushed to avoid accidental insulting me "Just in a... Gothic way..."

"The eyes...It's the eyes, isn't it?" I asked desperately, indicating my bruised and blackened lids and under-eye area. The punched-in-the-face-by-my-illness look hadn't seemed to matter until now but suddenly, with lulu's adorable brown eyes, highlighted by a perfectly symmetrical cat eye flick each side, staring back at me I felt small, weak and dirty.

"Partly... You just look so... Tired and... Sad." She finished simply, looking pretty sad herself. For a moment I wanted her to come closer, just stay and sit by my bed, so we could talk like old times... Suddenly I felt angry. It's the condition, not you! I told myself firmly, but still the feeling remained.

"Why so shocked, Lou?" I questioned calmly, I knew it was a mistake, jumping to conclusions, assuming she hadn't even believed me until now but... "You knew, you knew I was sick, missing school, missing... Friends. So why?"

"I-I," Lou stuttered. I had been right so why was she here!? What did she want from me? "They said you wouldn't... You know... Be-"

"Sick? I would be fine? I'd welcome you with open arms and arrange a ride into school for Monday?" I was laying the sarcasm on thick now. When did psychological game playing Layla take over from the real me? When did I start second guessing my friends emotions, motives and actions? When they stopped being my friends and stared just pretending they were, I suppose.

"No! Well, yes but... Stop it Layla! I can't deal with this right now I-"

"You cant deal with this? Oh well then I'm so sorry to be an inconvenience to you little Miss sunshine, maybe you should just leave now, eh? In case my fake illness is contagious." I regretted the sharp words as soon as they were spoken but it was too late. Lou turned and left the room, pulling the door closed a second too late to stop me from hearing a faint sob from the other side.