Standing up to a bully and telling yourself YES.

TRUE COLORS: believing in yourself

There will be bullies in so many areas of your life. I mean all thru High School. College I really don't think that Bullying happens much. University, thats another story. I cant comment on that as I haven't gone to a university. I wouldn't think it happens. If it does, by that time you should be able to tell the bully to go f*ck him or herself. If you cannot stick up for yourself by this time, then I just don't know what to say. You have already resigned yourself to always except the least, to always settle for something, usually only mediocre. Never trying for better. And that, my friend, is a very sad way to live your life. I should know, its how I've lived mine for so many years. It all started when I was first being bullied. I all0wed it to continue. I never stuck up for myself. I let myself remain a victim. And when I was older, the worst part was I was the bully. I bullied myself, I called myself names and hated myself. I could have changed things, but I didn't. I continued being a victim and never striving to become a survivor. That was then, this is now. I have found the secret to life. Do you want to know what that secret is? It will sound like its the hardest thing to do. But in truth, its one of the easiest things you could ever do, but the one thing that will enhance your life in everything from the clothes you wear to the car you drive to the girl your seeing, or boy, to the job you have . Are you ready? OK "LIKE YOURSELF" SIMPLE. THERES NOTHING ELSE THAT YOU CAN EVER DO FOR YOURSELF THAT WILL HAVE A GREATER IMPACT ON YOUR LIFE.

I'm not kidding. And its really an easy thing for you to do. Its not hard. Hating yourself is HARD!! It takes so much time and effort to always be down on yourself. You don't even really have to start by liking yourself. You just have to tolerate yourself. Heres a good way to start finding out that you Can like yourself. Every morning when you shower, or you can do this at night if you  shower then, look in the mirror at your reflection. Yes, I know for some it is going to be literally impossible at first, even if you don't look at yourself, just stand in front of the mirror. Next, tell yourself three words "i will try" thats all. For a day, two days or a week if need be. You have to get to the point where you can look at yourself. You don't have to tell yourself anything at first. But you will find that once you can start talking to yourself, while looking at yourself, and not cussing yourself out or calling yourself names, it will get easier. You will have to first get rid of negative talk. I mean calling yourself names while looking at yourself wont help.

Have you ever heard that negative begets negative and positive begets positive? It means that negative breeds negative. If you are constantly negative about everything, it will only attract like kind. More negative. When you focus on positive it attracts positive. Its a fundamental law of nature. One that you cannot change or distort. So use it to your advantage. Look at your reflection and tell yourself anything positive. That you are at least trying, that you have nice hair, that your eyes are pretty. Anything thats positive. After awhile you will find that you look forward to those moments in front of the mirror. If you start your morning out on a positive, that will follow you thru your day. If you start it on a negative, thats what follows you thru your day. Again, its you deciding for yourself what you want in your life. Its sticking up for yourself. Telling yourself "No, I don't want that in my life" "I am not going to except that"

Finding yourself isn't easy. And you will get it wrong many times. You will always be growing, maturing and changing yourself. This is a natural process and for some its actually easy, for others its a little bit harder. Example, I went thru a black faze, my hair, clothes, everything was black. I went thru and Emo faze and Black Vail Brides were my heroes, I have changed many times trying to find myself. I still haven't gotten it down pact, but I'm working on it. When I finally started liking myself, I mean inwardly, liked myself, I started seeing things so much clearer. Things started making sense to me. This took many years and It wasn't easy, it took worjk. I was determined not to stay in that victim role that I had so easily fallen prey to. It wasnt all my fualt. I had help. Mean abusive parents, even meaner still stepfather, mental health issues then several back surgeries. Hating myself was pretty easy when I was a victim.

If you stay a victim hating yourself and blaming everything on everyone else well then yes, you never will grow and you will die hating the world. And it will be your fault. No matter what your surroundings are, unless your 15 and your parents are abusing the crap out of you, then its maybe a little harder to change those things. Now if your father is sexually abusing you, tell. Dont let that kind of hell continue. And no its not your fault. No matter what you are told. Pandorasaquarium.org  or pandys.org for short, is a great site that deals with CSA/SRA/RA most forms of sexual assault IE rape, being prostituted. I belong to it and have for many years. Its a forums and chat. Dr. Phil, Oprah have both endorsed it over the years.