One by one || 5sos

0.2 || c a l u m + s a r a h

There he sat upon that beach, the sand grains slowly falling through his calloused hands. Just like she did.

His mind was a mess, a state of chaos mixed with a wanting to improve. But under a dark sky and miles away from home he sat on that beach thinking of her, with the neck of a bottle being welcomed by his lips.

A drink which reminded him,
   a drink which burned him,
      a drink which he always shared with her.

"Calum stop drinking so much," she would laugh drunkenly as she took a sip from his bottle.

And he used to let her do that whenever she wanted to, because he knew everyone in his life left him, so he let her.

It helped him forget,
   it healed him,
      but nevertheless it was a drink that was half
empty.

Just like himself.

Then he remembered her and he smiled through the pain.

She had dark hair that he could stroke his fingers through and with it leave the stress behind, her eyes a soft brown, just like his, it comforted him but also warned him, he missed that. And her laugh, a laugh in which could brighten any sullen face, and with his being the most difficult she managed to get his smile back.

But then she
   left.

And his world
            fell
apart.

A world which then later he rebuilt on the foundations of alcohol and drugs.

He didn't want to believe it, but she had left him willingly.

He used to tell her how much he loved her, how much she meant to him. And she smiled and repeated all those words.

He was in too deep and the water wouldn't let him back up, not until he found her again.

He was ch-
   -oking

He couldn't breathe, his mind full of promises and goodbyes and sorries and sweet beautiful words. And the worst of all love.

Another sip and he was done.

There he sat upon that beach, the sand grains slowly falling through his calloused hands. Just like she did.

-

is she alive is she dead who knows