Wrecked from Rape

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Sarah's POV:

I couldn't believe i just did that! Walked away an said no. He was my dream guy and i denied him! I was acting crazy. But he didn't know me. How could he ever love me if i didn't love myself. I almost turned around from walking home about 5 times but when i looked back i made myself run for a mile. It was a 8 mile distance. I ran about six miles. I needed the exercise anyways, i was fat. 106 pounds was too much for my height.

It was almost dark when i got home. I crawled in bed. It was no later then 6 but i was tired of today. I lost the boy i liked for sure. I fell asleep for a few hours then i heard a ding. Niall had sent me numerous messages asking if he could call. I said yes. It was a few seconds until he called back. I answered. He spoke in a troubled voice "i hope you got home safe. You worried me. You don't have to say anything back but i just wanted to say goodnight. So goodnight darling. I hope i can see you tomorrow morning and drop you off at school".

I took a deep breath in and collected my thoughts for a moment. He still liked me and i wasn't going to lose him either. "Goodnight, see you tomorrow". I hung up and drifted in and out of sleep the rest of the night.

Niall picked me up at 7:30. And we went and got hot chocolate. I was happy to see him. It seemed like he didn't even remember what happened yesterday. He gave me a kiss goodbye and dropped me off at the front of my school. He said he'd be here to pick me up after the day was over. School was normal. Now these people i only saw twice a week and was homeschooled the rest so the only people i really talked to were Jonathon and kaitlyn. Nobody knew about my past so they didn't judge. They never saw my scars. It was a way to escape but still be apart of school. I liked it a lot. Mondays and wednesdays i went here and the other three days me kaitlyn and Jonathon switched home to study together. Jonathon knew why i left school but i wasn't the reason he left. Kaitlyn and i came to the school first and Jonathon knew we were there an was already homeschooled so he joined us. I loved having my two best friends with me.

School was the same as always. I mean come on who liked school and when i walked out those doors Niall was there like he said. I climbed into the passenger seat and leaned over giving him to huge kiss. I let go and he had a huge smile on his face. It was nice how the little things i did made him a smile. Id never had a guy treat me that way. Well there was one other time but there were other things going on behind those eyes.

Flashback:

**his eyes were a light shade of brown. Almost a golden color. His eyes smiled every time he looked at me. Every time he got me to laugh i would get a kiss, no matter where we were. He was a great boyfriend and for the short three months we dated that 8th grade summer and start of high school he treated me like a princess. He actually loved me. My first love couldn't be a better guy i had thought. He took my hand and kissed it. The camp out in the woods was beyond romantic. We had a fire going. We roasted marsh mellows together while i sat in his lap with his arm safely wrapped around me. I kissed him on the cheek and giggled. It was like something that came from a movie scene. Every thing was going great until he decided to take things a whole lot farther.

"Sarah your so beautiful i just want to make love to you all night long" he whispered in my ear. Nibbling at my ear.

"You know i want to some day but i really don't want it to be today. Im not quite ready. Were still young" i said stumbling at my words. He was rubbing my body, unbuttoning my pants. I pushed him away.

"Come on baby don't be this way. You know you want to" he said. I pushed him away again and he grabbed my arm. He squeezed it and glared at me. "I'm going to get my way whether you're going to go along with it or not." I tried escaping his grip. My attempts were unsuccessful. His grip only got stronger. He pulled me down to the ground and ripped off my shirt. I screamed but he just laughed. I knew nobody could hear me and i could tell he enjoyed my pain. I wondered what happened to the sweet boy with the golden eyes. I closed my eyes the rest of the time he raped me. When he was finished he left to go change to sleep and i just laid there for about ten minutes until he spoke.

"Baby come on you cant stay out there all night. I promise ill hold you tight tonight." He said while he poked his face outside of the tent. He winked at me and returned inside. I did not dare to cry. I got up redressed myself and took a breath. I couldn't stay out here i knew it but i wouldn't let him see emotion. At least until he wasn't around. It was early morning and my friend came to pick us up. I didn't say a word but he had his arm around my shoulder acting like nothing happened. They dropped me off at the front of my house. He walked me to door. And gave me a long kiss. I spit in his face and he returned it with a slap to my cheek. It stung. He was not the boy i knew before. I walked inside my cheek still bright red. I ignored my moms questions and ran upstairs to my bed. I cried my heart out and my mom came in and comforted me. I told her everything. I told her about the secret camp out, how he raped me and everything that happened outside. She was furious i let him do this. She ran down stairs and called his parents. He denied the whole thing apparently. After that things were over between us my mom said but i knew he wouldn't be done with me.

I went to practice later that day to try to escape what happened.

The next day i went to school where he sat next to me in half my classes. Everything was a joke to him now. And i could handle ignoring him but then i got news that took me to the edge. My good friend teddy had taken his own life. And my boyfriend joked about it every day. I cracked and one day just began fighting him in class, literally. But i was not big enough to win. He ended up breaking my arm on a desk by slamming in against the wall. I actually ended up moving to my best friends school but i still was the crazy chick who destroyed a classroom. It was all too much. That was when i had the first thoughts of ending my life.**

Usually those kinds of eyes would scare me but i felt safe in his. He treated me well and it was tough but i knew he was good for me. But i wish i had only said yes to him when he asked. I knew now i might never have that chance again.

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⏰ Last updated: May 25, 2013 ⏰

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