The Violinist's Cherrytree

Chapter 9

5 years later

"How long has it been now?" Cameron asked. 

"It's been 30 seconds, Cameron."

"I'm sorry! This is just a big moment, that's all."

Cameron and I have been trying for the longest time to have a baby.

I had taken dozens of tests over the last few years.

Each time they'd turned out negative.

"This one has to be it." I whispered. 

The timer went off at 5 minutes and took a deep breath before looking at the test.

Negative, once again.

"Cameron, something has to be wrong with me. We had so much unprotected sex, there's no way..." 

"Hey, it's okay. If you want, we can go to the doctor's."

I nodded. "I'll call him, just warm up the car."

I put on my coat, hat, and gloves before calling Dr. Raymond, my gynecologist. 

I got into the car, extremely nervous. 

On the way there, we passed Cameron's music store. Cameron looked at it and huffed, angry at what's been going on.

Cameron's store was failing terribly, and we both knew it. He wasn't making as much as he used to, and now I've had to take up waitressing at bars during the week just to make ends meet. 

Our house, or as I like to call it, our cottage, is basically in the middle of nowhere. Not very expensive as you might think, but we do have a lot of expenses to pay.

Going into the city every day for us both does crank up the gas bill. And considering we both went to Tisch, our student loans still need to be paid off. We were drowning. 

We finally got to the gynecologist, and I got out of the car preparing for the worst. 

We went up the front desk and I swallowed. "Juliet Gold for Dr. Raymond." 

The receptionist smiled. "He's ready for you, you can go on back." 

Cameron kissed me. "You want me there with you?"

I shook my head. "I'll get you once he has news, but you don't have to be there for all the other stuff."

"All right. I love you."

"You too."

Then I walked back there with my head high.

***

"Any medical history in the family that I should know about?" Dr. Raymond asked me.

I smoothed out the ugly hospital gown I had put on as I lied there on the table. "Well, my aunt had PCOS, and so did my grandma." 

I hated that it ran in the family. I always thought that since my mother didn't get it, I would be okay.

But maybe it just skipped a generation.

"Okay. And you said every test came out negative?"

"Yes. Even though we weren't using protection at all." 

"And have you been feeling anything odd?"

I thought. "Well, I've been feeling a tad under the weather lately. I thought it was just stress. I felt this weird pressure in my stomach about---" I searched for it. "---here." 

He scribbled some things down. "Anything else?"

"Nothing I can remember."

"All right, well I'm gonna run some tests and tell you for sure what's going on."

"Thank you." And then he left. 

A nurse came in shortly to do the blood work on me for the test, and I just avoided the needle with my eyes. 

I caught her before she left. "Sorry, can you get my husband for me?"

She smiled. "Of course." 

I know I told Cameron not to be here with me yet, but waiting for these results was going to drive me mad.

Cameron came into the room within a few seconds. "Hey. What happened?"

"Nothing yet. He's doing some tests."

Cameron sat on the stool next to me and held my hand.

Dr. Raymond came back in with the results.

I held Cameron's hand tighter.

"So I ran some tests, and it turns out you do have PCOS. I'm so sorry." 

I stopped listening after he said that. I was just too busy thinking about it.

Was there anything I could've done to prevent this? 

I just heard snippets of what Dr. Raymond and Cameron were saying.

"There is medication available..."

"We can still have a kid..." 

But I just tuned them out. 

***

We got back home, and I was eager just to sit on the couch and distract myself.

The beautiful cherry tree that gleamed in our backyard still wasn't enough to cheer me up. 

I sat on the couch and Cameron brought me a coffee. 

"I'll call your mom later on and tell her the news."

"Mmm." I brought the coffee to my lips and stopped myself. "What did you put in this?"

"Nothing."

I stared at him.

He sighed. "You've had a rough day I just thought you could use some sleep."

"I don't need to be quieted, Cameron."

"I wasn't---"

"I had unprotected sex with you, and you know what happened? I started feeling feverish and pain in my stomach and now I have PCOS."

Cameron looked puzzled. "I don't---"

"Do you have anything?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know bloody well what I mean. Do you have an STD?"

Cameron's eyes widened in astonishment. "Jules, no! Of course not. What the hell would make you think that?"

"You tell me! The famous Cameron Gold. I wouldn't be surprised if you did have something."

"Jules, that's really absurd."

"If you gave me anything, Cameron, I swear to God---" 

"That's ridiculous! Stop acting crazy."

"Stop acting crazy? I'm infertile. We can never have kids."

"Dr. Raymond said there's medication that can help."

"I'm not an idiot. Medication doesn't always work and taking it can raise all these other problems for me. Do you really think we have the money to pay for it?"

Cameron said nothing.

"That's what I thought." I stormed into the bedroom. 

"Jules, come on, hon. Let's not argue."

"Too late!"

The doorknob rattled as Cameron desperately tried to get in. "We're just in a slump right now, okay? Everything'll be better before you know it." 

I sighed in exasperation. "Don't you have work to do or something?"

And with that, he left me.