The Violinist's Cherrytree

Chapter 10

I felt bad.

I felt really bad.

I knew it wasn't his fault. He wasn't the type of guy to sleep around.

I was crying on my bed, and my eyes were red and puffy. My mascara had run, making me look like a crazy chick.

I walked to my door and cracked it open. Cameron was sitting at the side of the door. He'd bent his knees and folded his arms on them, his head in the gap. I cleared my throat.

He jumped, and looked up at me, startled.

"Oh, uh, Jules."

I stared at him, before I walked out of the room. I sat down next to him, and put my head on his shoulder. He put his head on mine, before I burst into tears.

"Jules," he said in a sad tone. He put his arms around me and put his hand on my head, his other on my side, pulling me closer to him.

I grabbed his shirt and cried harder.

"It's okay, Jules. It's okay. It's not the end of the world."

"To you it might not be, but to me, this is huge. You don't know what it's like, being told you can't have kids even though you've wanted them your whole life," I choke out through my tears.

"I know. But we can always adopt."

"It's not the same. It's not the same as having your own kids."

Cameron pauses, then lifts his head off of mine. He slides a hand in between his shoulder and my head, lifting it up, before placing another hand on the other side of my face.

"Listen. It's hard, I know. If this isn't easy for me, I can only imagine the pain you're going through. But I just want you to know that you're not alone. I'm going to be here for you, day and night. I promise."

I stare into his eyes, his beautiful eyes, and I smile.

"That was so cheesy," I tell him with a watery laugh.

"It got you to smile. It worked."

I looked at his shoulder and saw that there was a black streak from my mascara on it.

"Sorry about your shirt," I say.

"Don't worry about it," he replies, still staring into my eyes.

I had a flashback, back to when we both were still in college.

"Sorry I got your shirt wet," I said, giving a small smile.

"Don't worry about it," he said. He was staring intently into my face.

I looked into his face. I had never seen someone so genuinely concerned for me. And I realized my heart was beating unnecessarily fast.

"Yes, I will go on a date with you."

"Are you thinking about the time you agreed to go on a date with me too?" he asked with a sly grin.

"So what if I am?" I reply.

He laughs, and gets up. I stretch my hands towards him, and he pulls me up with him. I kiss him, my heart pounding blissfully in my chest.

"Come on. We are going to have Mac and Cheese for dinner."

He sat me down on the couch and walked into the kitchen. I grabbed a nearby blanket and wrapped it around myself.

I could hear the microwave start. He came out of the kitchen and sat down next to me on the couch, wrapping his arms around me.

"Don't you have to be at work?" I ask him.

"Screw work," he replies before kissing the top of my head. The microwave beeped and he went into the kitchen to pull the bowls out and put the cheese in.

Screw work? I thought. We are basically poor. How can he say 'screw work'. The store is failing.

He came back with the two bowls of pasta, and handed one to me.

"Want to watch a movie?" he asks, grabbing the remote to the TV.

He turned it on, but all the screen showed was a message from the cable company.

We're sorry, but it appears that you have not paid your cable fee. We have stopped service to your network until it has been paid.

If you believe this is a mistake, please call 1-800-345-7879.

Thank you.

We both stared at that message for a long time, before I got up. I walked into the bedroom and changed into my work uniform. When I got out, Cameron looked at me, confused.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Work."

"Why? It's Saturday."

"Because someone has to pay the damn bills," I mutter.

"Excuse me?" he asks angrily.

"You heard me!" I say, just as furious. "We are behind on everything! Water! Electricity! Gas! Student loans! Phone bills! Cable bills! It's finally catching up to us! And then you say screw work? Look at the damn TV Cameron! This is going to keep happening to us unless you get off your ass and find a way to make money!"

I was breathing heavily, finally getting what had been brewing in my mind for a while off my chest.

He stands up, his face full of rage.

"I CAN'T DECIDE IF THEY WANT TO SHOP AT THE DAMN STORE OR NOT!"

"THEN GET ANOTHER JOB! OR FIND A WAY INSTEAD OF MOPING ABOUT IT AND LEAVING IT UP TO ME TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING!"

We both stood there, ready to strangle each other, before Cameron blinked.

"Fine," he whispers, in his most dangerous voice. He was burning a hole in my head, and I knew he was imagining how it would feel to chop it off.

He walked to the door and grabbed the keys before walking out. He slammed the door behind him. I could hear the engine start, and the car backing out. I stood there until I could no longer hear him. Then I walked to the bedroom and sat in front of my vanity. I took my makeup off and sat there for a long time, staring at myself. The past few years had brought on a lot of stress, something that was very visible in my face.

The worry lines, the mouth set in a frown, the gray hairs. But what worried me most were my eyes. They used to have a sparkle to them, but now they looked dull, lifeless.

How long has it been since I had fun?

I sighed and got up, grabbing the phone and trying to call Cameron.

"You have reached mailbox number-" the automated voice said after one ring.

I hung up and stared at the phone. Had he declined my call?

I sat down on the couch and stared at the TV.

We're sorry, but it appears that you have not paid your cable fee. We have stopped service to your network until it has been paid.

If you believe this is a mistake, please call 1-800-345-7879.

Thank you.

And then, I started to cry. But for the first time, Cameron wasn't there to comfort me.