Love Me [DISCONTINUED]

You Are Beautiful, I'm Afraid

Jayy's POV;

I didn't bother to follow him, I was to broken to move. I didn't care if he saw my broken writings in my notes, I didn't care if he saw the cuts I had photographed. I don't care. I just laid there, it seemed like hours before Dahvie came back into my room. He placed the phone back on my bedside table. Then I saw that he was crying, this got me to stand up. Dahvie looked up at me and pulled me in for a hug. "Everything that is beautiful people want to break and you are beautiful.... I'm afraid." He said looking up at me. "If they break you to pieces I'll turn to nothing but ash." He said, crying.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will permanently scar me inside and break my soul day by day.

I looked down to my feet, sighing. I held him closer to my chest and kissed the top of his head, he just seemed so fucking broken I can't stand it! "Dahvie everything will be okay, I promise." I say, "You can't promise that Jayy, you don't know that!" Dahvie cried. "I know I don't... But I believe it! You just have to believe Dahvie." I say, he pulled out of my chest to look up at me, "Believe in me." I say, pressing our foreheads together, feeling his breath on my lips. I looked to his lips, soft and plush. God they just screamed for me to his them, but I refused. I was not about to fuck this up! Not when I just got some control over it! Dahvie had tears staining his cheeks, red puffy eyes, and matted hair. I couldn't stand it! "Please. Please be okay." I say, closing my eyes. Tears started to fall and I just couldn't help it, when he cries I cry! God I'm such a loser! "Jayy... Don't cry." Dahvie said, I covered my face. "Don't look at me!" I cry, "Jayy, please. It's okay." He said, pulling me close to him.

I looked to him and he looked to me, "You're beautiful." He muttered, pressing his lips to mine, ever so softly. I kissed back hesitantly, scared of what would occur when he broke from the kiss. He pulled away and looked at me, then looked at the floor, crying. "Dahvie, why're you crying?" I asked, tilting his head so that we were eye to eye. "I-I'm sorry." He said, "I-I just can't." He said. Then in an instant he had my switchblade and was impaling it in his stomach. He fell to the floor and I was in horror, shock, and sorrow. I kneeled beside him and brought him into my arms. "DAHVIE!" I cried as I saw the light draining from his eyes. I picked him up, got in the car, and sped to the hospital. He was immediately seen and I was a sobbing mess in the waiting room.

Then the doctor came out after about 2 hours and I looked up to him, my bloodshot and hopeless eyes seemed to trouble him. "Mr. Monroe?" He questioned "Yea." I said nodding, my voice cracking. "Dahvie will be fine, he's asleep now... But will wake in a few hours. You may visit him if you'd like." He added, I simply nodded and he lead me to the room. I sat in a chair beside him and the doctor left. "I love you." I mumbled, holding his hand. "So much." I said, as I lightly kissed his pale forehead. My poor little Dahvie, he looked complete pitiful! I could barely handle it... Barely. Then I called Jeffree and told him everything.

Within around an hour Jeffree was with me in the room, holding me in his arms as I cried. I cried for what seemed like years until I saw Dahvie open his eyes, his beautiful moss green eyes were dull instead of their usually happy glisten. I looked at Dahvie with a tear stained face, "D-Dahvie!" I cried, running to him and hugging him. Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Dahvie didn't say anything, he didn't move... He just sat there. "Dahvie it's okay now, it's gonna be okay." I said, "No, Jayy... It's not." He said "You want to die." He added. "And I can't live without you, you're my other half." Dahvie said.

"Dahvie..." I whispered, "I want to help you, I really do... But I just don't think I can." He said, looking down at his lap. I looked at him, my broken best friend. And I just can't take it, he's emotionless and numb, but he's crumbling to pieces right in front of me. I began to sob into my hands, I turned around and ran out of the room, sobbing. I love him so much, but he's falling apart! I can't bare to watch his light fade. I went into the bathroom and sobbed, "Dahvie! Oh Dahvie!" I sobbed into my hands "Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why!" I cried, banging on the stall's wall. "DAHVIE!" I cried, tears streamed down my cheeks like a waterfall, sadness and frustration took over me as I threw a tantrum.

I curled into a ball on the floor and just sobbed. It was like that for about 3 hours until the bathroom door opened, I looked up, tears still streaming down my cheeks and I saw Dahvie. "Jayy..." He whispered, looking at me in shock. "Are you crying because you still want to die?" He asked softly? "NO!" I shouted, "IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT!" I yelled. "Then why?" Dahvie asked softly, kneeling down beside me. "Y-you're falling apart a-and I just c-can't b-bare to w-watch." I sniffled. "You're falling apart too." Dahvie said, "Yea... But... Mine is different." I said, "You wouldn't understand... I destroy everything I touch... Even the things I love too much." I said. "Jayy, don't say that. You're a wonderful and beautiful person, without you I wouldn't be who I am today." Dahvie said, I couldn't help it. I sat up and I kissed him. I kissed him for all I had, for all I was worth. I kissed him.... And he kissed back.