It's been a week since the tragic death of ru,everyone's being a total wreck,ever since Johnson found the letter ,he rushed like a maniac toward ru bathroom in the fastest speed his feet would take him till he found out that it was unfortunately too late.
He couldn't help himself but fall on his knees beside ru lifeless cold body,he went through a mental break down and starting to crash anything that was able to get broken to try to soothe the pain he's living,he kept pulling on his hair till he almost felt that it would come out,he didn't move a single move from his cold ,dull,dark corner ,he couldn't bring himself to eat ,everything surrounding him is either turned upside down like the couch sitting on a wrecked up situation on the opposite corner of the room or it's broken like all the shattered ,glasses little broken pieces shattered on the floor from his previous breakdown that caused him to break a couple of frames and vases and anything that could come to his mind,ru's voice didn't leave his ears ever since the last time he have spoke to her,he keeps on having weird,strange hallucinations about how she is still alive and she is talking to him,she's telling him to get out of the bathroom so she could shower,she was annoyed for the fact that she didn't want to have a detention for coming late and she kept telling him if that's what you are hoping for then keep in mind that I could skip a day without showering,but unfortunately all of this was just on his wild imagination,his body have gotten so weak from not eating for days that he couldn't move a single bone,he was broken mentally and physically,he keeps on having conversations with himself which sometimes leads to yelling and him punching his guts ,he blamed himself for everything that happened,he blamed himself for not being a good brother like he was supposed to be,for not saving her from suffering any kind of pain like he promised he would,for not being there for her when she needed him and making her disappointed by a rejection from him every time she needed him,she caused nothing to him except happiness and pure ,non-fakeness love and she was the reaso for his smile to get wider on his face,from his life to get more joyable,for him to cherish every moment,every day,every hour,every second with her,everything the thought of ru popped on his head,his the remembers everything and his throat suddenly hitches and he feels his palms sweating and his body starts to shake ,he blamed himself for everything,he hated himself so bad that he have thought once or twice about cutting himself till one day he did it ,today is ru's funeral and he promised himself that he would attend it but his health condition and body situation doesn't allow him to step a foot,he's barely standing, he distanced himself from everyone,his family,friends,fans every one,they are all getting worried bout him and the fans know nothing about his condition and his sudden inactivity in all the social media sites ,his eyes couldn't stop shedding tear since the moment he got separated from ru corpse,his lips didn't make a single move since it lost contact with ru's forehead,he didn't bother to eat anything not even a loaf of a bread and he forcefully takes a couple of sips of water everyday ,the fact that his body situation doesn't allow him to attend her funeral makes him hate him self even more,in other words,he is a total mess.
As of Sammy,the guy is speechless,nonchalant,he does feel horrible just not as much as Johnson feels,he barely cries in his natural self but his eyes haven't stop drowning in tears ever since he heard Johnson yelling to face him with news that skipped his heart beat ,they're so swollen already he don't even know how he would keep it inside during her funeral or how will he be able to speak when they call him to say a speech ,whenever he tries to eat or drink he find it a struggle to swallow as it sends a burning sensation deep down even from a simple sip of water,he didn't mean to lead her to here,he did love her more than anything,she was everything to him and he truly ,passionately loved her and didn't mean to do any harm,he was just so clueless to show her how much he loves her and to prove it to her,he trying so hard to make her love him ended up for her to think that he hates her and for her to think that his number one priority is to break her heart and throw it like its a piece of trash,he might've been known as a player by everyone but after meeting ru and getting to know her ,as if she aimed him with her bullet of love and it successfully shot him,it was like a spell to him,she was a one of a kind ,he got up and tried to clear the thoughts from his head and go get ready for the funeral,while brushing his hair ,he thought about how none of this could have happened if he wasn't a jerk to her at the first place,if he didn't treat her like a worthless piece of shit and made her feel loved,she could've been beside them right now,flashing her wide,stunning,joyful laugh that would show her perfectly,aligned,pearly whitened teeth and her very deep ,cute dimples which just added more beauty to her natural angelic face.
At this moment,Sammy placed his hands to his face and cried ,ru leaving this world really affected him since Sammy barely cries and when he cries this might deadly serious and such a big deal to him.
Gilinsky felt the worst among them all even more than Johnson ,he couldn't sleep ,the guilt is eating him alive,nothing could calm him down nothing would be the same anymore ,all of this is turning him into a physco ,all what he wanted to do is to explain to her what happened he just couldn't control it anymore ,all of this events turned his life a 180 degree,he felt like a real murderer even though all of this happened accidentally and he totally didn't mean it ,he regrets everything,he regrets partying so hard that night,fighting constantly with her over stupid stuff,not being there for her when she needed him the most,he wanted to apologize to her for everything that he'd done to her family ,to be the major cause of her pain,being the answer of every "why are you crying?,what's wrong?" Question coming from her friends,he for sure was the type to use the girls and leave em after then ,he was the badass type of guy but ru had this potion to make him head over heels toward her,she absolutely had the power to change him into a new,better person,she drew a smile across everyone's face,it was never her intention to make someone mad or to annoy any one ,if she ever fought with any one she would feel bad and guilt right away ,she had the purest heart ever that made him feel safe and happy whenever she was on his presence .she was the beat for his heart and him being one of the biggest reason of driving her to suicide on the first place made him feel like he just killed himself.
After days of thinking,he decided to do the right choice and get his punishment ,he decided to sent himself to justice then develop himself to be a better person by attending rehab,he wanted to start a new life,a new him ,and to make ru happy,he wanna make her proud of him and he is pretty sure that she is in a better place up there surrounded by her loved once and she'll be watching over her loved ones down there and take care of them till its time for them to come up to her.
