holding on [h.s.] [n.h.] [z.m.]

I Can't Go On This Way

this chapter is dedicated to @itsbunny because she was the first one to comment on the last chapter and she is also awesome so go check her out if you have not and then come back for the next chapter LOVE YOU 

Kadee's POV 

" strong enough to leave you

but weak enough to need you"

* flashback*

When they told us the others were so happy. Don't get me wrong I'm happy for them I just wish of was Harry and I. I like him so much. He probably doesn't feel the same and I just don't wanna tell him and get rejected we just have Tom foolery and stuff. We flirt all the time. He just doesn't like me like that. I wish he knew.

"Uum ,Harry are you ok? You had a blush on your face... Are you thinking of someone? Who's the special girl?" I asked.

"Uum... No one I have to go." he said running away. i was running behind him and catching up.  I  ran track and had gymnastics when I was younger.

I did a flip and landed on top of him, "What is wrong with you ? Oh, going to meet the mystery girl?" I asked sounding less happy but wearing a fake smile.

" Well, I don't have to go far. She is right on top of me." He said. i got up surprised and pulled him up. Damn, I'm strong, "I, uuh like you, Kadee."

i blushed and coughed. He didn't realize he was staring at me for five minutes til i did that.

" Well, Harry I like you too. I'm just not sure if we should go out. We've been friends for a long time and I'm not really your type." 

"What do you mean type?" I He said offended.

"Well, your type is long haired girls with blonde and brown hair, my hair is red. You like super skinny girls, I'm midway skinny. Harry you like girls with blue eyes, and my eyes are brown, but I wear purple contacts. Face it, Harry. I'm not your type."  I said crying and ran away.

"Kadee, wait! " He said but it was too late.

 I like him he just doesn't date the kind of girl that I am. He deserves someone who can talk about the same stuff he does.

"Hi my Irish princess." Someone said from behind me. I could tell it was Niall from the Irish accent. Oh and did I forget to mention I'm Irish and Rachel is British?

"Hi Niall, " I said sitting down on the bench, "Can you please go?"

"Why?" He asked with a hurt look on his face.

"Cause I don't want you to see me cry.. " I said bursting out in tears.

* flashback over * 

i completely broke over him he was all i needed but at the same time he was the worst thing for me he made feel like i had a friend and at the same time he gave me butterflie but when he left realization hit me that he deserved better and he probably had found it and then i got niall he and harry were different niall fought for me 

"YOU WHAT? " Niall yelled angrily.

"Harry and I kissed, Niall. It meant nothing!"

"No, we're going to settle this now!" He said walking to Harry's room and banged on the door. A minute later it unlocked, "Harry Edward Styles, you kissed my girl friend?!?! "  He said grabbing Harry by his shirt.

"Yes I did, and I think she deserves better than you!" He said. That was all it took for Niall to break! He pushed Harry against the wall and punched him in the gut.

" Niall, stop! you're hurting him! I-I LOVE YOU!" I yelled and thats all it took for Niall to let him go.

"Don't touch Kadee ever again, you're lucky!" He said and walked up to me and kissed me, "I love you too." he said and we went to sleep after a long sweet kiss

* flashback over * 

niall made me feel like i was on the top of the world he made me feel like  i was the queen and he was the king  like he was the only thing i could ever think about i had planned our wedding and how many children we would have and thier names i wanted a child name Kaleya and i thought that we were gonna have happily after and that  aslong as i was with him everything was perfect and nothing mattered 

* flashback *

I woke up to the smell of bacon. I sat up in the bed, got up, and headed down the stairs. I looked in the kitchen and saw a note posted on the stove:

Hey there!! I went out to run some errands but I'll be back at 3:00pm. I made you some breakfast, it's on the stove. I love you!!

- Niall 

Aw!! How sweet!! It's been 3 years in our relationship and he's still the sweetest person ever! Oh, sorry.. Did I forget to mention we moved in together the second year of our relationship? He surprised me with the house and I just thought it was beautiful. So in one week we had all of our stuff in and some nice furniture. He just puts so much into our relationship I just don't feel good enough.

 After I finished my breakfast I put it in the sink and walked into the living room and decided to watch a movie. I had to pick between Love Actually or Finding Nemo.

I've always loved Finding Nemo and its Niall's favorite. Aah, Niall... my little leprechaun.

I put in the movie and watched as nemo swam out in the open even though his dad told him not to. He should've listened..

As I watched as Nemo's dad met Dory I slowly started to drift asleep. I saw dory babbling before my eyes finally closed...

-*-

"Kadee!! Kadee!! Kadee!! I brought food!!" I shot up quickly.

"Where's the food?! " I asked smiling wide.

He laughed and pulled out a bag of Nandos from behind his back.

"YES " I shouted jumping up and down. I was really hungry when I woke up. I grabbed the bag and walked towards the kitchen. We sat down at the table and ate in comfortable silence.

-- 

After we finished eating Niall decided we should just go lay down and cuddle me. I loved the idea so I dragged him up the steps being the more energetic one.

"Calm down, sweetie." He said laughing. I laughed and opened the door. When we got inside the room he pulled off his shirt and climbed in pulling up the covers for me. I jumped in and he pulled me closer so his chest was against my back.

"Night, Kadee." He whispered in my ear sending shivers down my spine. I turned and gave him a kiss and pulled away to see him blushing.

I laughed, "Goodnight, Niall " I said and fell asleep in the arms of an angel.

My angel.

* flashback over * 

but now nothing is going right and i hear a loud thump from downstairs i gasped and stood my heart beating out of my chest and my blood rushing and then everything stopped as my eyes met the piercing green eyes that were yet to be familar as my breathing grew heavier and then my hands flew to my stomach as the pain surrouned the inside and then my world went black