my book on life

everybody buthurts

Hey guys it is me! So I'm dealing with something at home. As you all do not know my brother is an insecure, incest, freak! He abused me. This is my little brother too. He's much taller and stronger than me. He has choked me and hit me, alot of times for no reason at all. He calls me fat, the calls me ugly, and says I will never find a guy. My older brother ignores me and doesn't care. My older sister spends why too much time with her boyfriend to notice if come home or not, and if I don't she won't worry for a while. My baby sister hurts me and will draw blood if scratches me!y parents work hard to keep me alive and my crush is the only one I can talk to and god knows he only cares if I'm alive. I know I'm not useless... No if I wasn't here my family would be doing my work. My sisters would get to share a room with each other, my brother would be the one who grew up to fast. I grew up too fast. I had to lean how to cook when I was 9, and I started doing Dishes when I was 9, but younger than when I started cooking. I feel inviable or like no one cares. He does though, at least if I'm alive. So here some more of our text but it'll be different.
October 16 6:01 pm-"...I feel like a dear that is slowly suffering from a shot that won't heal and I have to live with it forever... "
October 17 9:07-
"Remember when I said I felt like a wounded dear that had to live with the built in my leg?"
9:09-
"yeah? What about it?"
9:10-
"There more bullets and I can't wait to leave. What is there for me? Abuse? Work?" I then started to cry a little. "God I feel like such a baby! Why am I so weak?!"

You guys could probably never relate. If you do or did tell me how to get out without self harm.... I need something to pull me out of this hell hole. I tried to ask for a story from him and he didn't have one. I later told him I needed stories cause I have such a pain in the ass life!
My "Grunkle" wants to put my family out on the street so he can have money. 95% chance we stay, 5% chance we become homeless... I like our odds, but I don't like we even have a chance we could be kicked out! But yeah, if you think your life sucks you should think how bad I have it. Holding in tears is hard...I'm dying slowly inside...now you know why alot of my shit is depressing.