Too Much, Too Soon

One

The fog lightly began to coat the cool, late summer air as I took my brisk morning run. I gently tugged my dog's leash and prompted, "come on." My breath was short since I was running at a steady speed. He picked up his pace and we made our way back home.

I edged the door open, trying to be quiet since the house was still sleeping. To my surprise, my boyfriend was sitting on the couch. "Hey!" I smiled at him, "Hey Billie! Why up so early?" He shrugged "don't really know. I wake with the sun," he added laughing. Upon rising from his spot, he made his way to the kitchen. I subconsciously observed him whilst he walked.

When I met him, he and I had the same hair color; blonde, but he recently dyed his black; the faint color of the dye behind his ears and near his hairline was still visible from where the dye temporarily stained his skin.

"What do you want for breakfast?" I replied, "I don't care." As soon as I took my dog off his leash, I proceeded to hang it on the hooks near the back door. "Well, seriously, what would you like?" Billie leaned against the counter and started at me from across the room, intently. "I don't know, um... pancakes. Why are you staring at me?" He smiled, "you look nice." I laughed, "ew god no. I look disgusting right now and don't you deny it." He chuckled and walked over to me, "okay you look like shit." He kissed my cheek and pulled me into a hug; I rested my head against his chest as we slowly swayed back and forth.

"Hey, bitches!" I looked up to see Trè leaning up against the wall in the kitchen. Billie turned around to greet him, "hey!" Trè tossed the letters in his hand onto the counter, "I got these in because when I got here, the mail man was driving away." "Thanks," Billie replied as he sorted through them. "Hey you've got this." I looked over to see his outstretched hand holding a letter in it, "it's addressed to you." "Thanks," I said as I wearily took it from his hand. I flipped it over in my hand to see the return address in the upper left corner, 'Stanford University.' I gazed at the envelope for a split second then stated, "I'm going to get ready." I headed down the hall.

I closed the door hastily behind me and ripped open the letter recklessly, I've been waiting for it. I carefully perused it's content:

"Last year, at approximately this time, you informed us that you would defer enrollment. We would simply like more information on your current stance. Here we have granted you a partial scholarship, or we have an abundance of local community colleges or other universities that would gladly welcome you to their honest programs. Please respond promptly. Below is the suggested list of nearby colleges and universities that have opted to grant you a full scholarship."

I spent five seconds glancing at the list then placed the letter on the dresser. I heavily breathed in and leaned my back against the wall. "Decisions suck ass." I kept contradicting myself; I seemed to have three options that I adored the most, go to college, stay in the band or tour with Billie's band. I encouraged myself, "just don't think too much about it. Take one thing at a time."

I showered quickly and changed into my staple outfit, a pair skinny jeans, a flannel and a band t-shirt. I took one last look at the letter; the mere existence of the thing was going to drive me insane. I put it back down and made my way to the kitchen.

Mike was up and sitting at the table reading the back of the cereal box as he mindlessly consumed some. "I made pancakes," Billie said from behind me. "Thank you!" He smiled and I grabbed myself a plate.

While we were eating, Trè was becoming relentless, comedically of course. He made a sort of drum set out of the bowls, plates and cups on the table and was using two butter knifes in replace of drumsticks; Mike was slowly becoming agitated by his incessant annoyance. "Come on, please stop." Trè smirked, "make me bitch." I started laughing as did Trè. Mike muttered something under his breath and left out the front door.

"What's his deal?" Trè shrugged, "his girlfriend hasn't talked to his in two whole days! I would be devastated," he sarcastically finished his remark. I lightly laughed. "You done?" I nodded my head as Trè began to clear the table. "Don't get used to my hospitality," he said, "since Mike left the room, I have lost the motivation to annoy." I laughed as Billie emerged from the hall.

"Ready?" "Of-fucking-course!" I rose from the chair and grabbed Billie's outstretched hand. We bid goodbye to Trè and made our way out the door.

He opened the passenger door for me and then scurried around to the driver's side. "I'm glad you don't have work today for once it seems like." I smiled, "yeah, I am getting more hours than usual, but I'm fine with it." Billie took my hand in his and we drove off.

He turned onto the exit ramp, near my old house. Nearly a year ago, I had to abruptly pack up and leave due to my mom and I's disagreements; well, she kind of won. However, I haven't let our on going feud kill me, too much. We passed the house I once called mine. The old blue/gray trim had since been painted black and they door now yellow; it still sat vacant.

He parked the car under a large shade tree near the park I'd run through nearly every day. We opened the car doors and headed into the park towards the little touristy area that bordered the ocean.

Billie looked to me as we were walking up the hill, "what would have happened if I weren't here that one night?" I thought about it, I often never did. I was barely injured (he fussed more about it than I did) and nearly mugged at this very park, it almost this same spot, about a year ago. "I don't know what would have happened. I probably would have just laid here to be honest," I replied to his question. He laughed, "just laid here, huh? Well that seems kinda dumb." I hit his shoulder, "I am dumb blonde." "Oh yeah. The 'dumb blonde' that is basically Einstein." "Yeah, I am a smart son of a bitch and don't you forget it," I teased.

We made our way to the of the hill, the grass blending with the pavement beneath our feet. Slowly, we walked amongst the tourists near the over priced stores that were suspended above the ocean water. "Hey, guys!"

Billie and I turned to see a familiar face, Ashley, Mike's girlfriend; she was also in a band with me. "Hey Ashley," I greeted. "If you see Mike, tell him I'm sorry I haven't called. The phone company has been out every day trying fix our phones and I've been busy with work and family so I haven't been able to stop by." Billie answered, "alright, he'll understand. He's been mopey as hell without seeing you for... what is it, two days? But we'll tell him." She smiled, "great. So you're both going to Spencer's party tomorrow?" "Yeah, it'll be nice. I haven't really talked to him but he seems alright," Billie said looking at me. In his eyes I could tell he was warning me not to express my feelings for Spencer. Spencer was a horny, conceited asshole that would try to sleep with anything that moved; he relentlessly hits on every one it seems.

Ashely spoke, bringing my derailed train of thought back, "well, I've gotta run. See you guys!" "Bye," Billie and I said in unison as she made her way in our opposite direction. He took my hand, "come on. It'll be fun. Maybe he's not that big of an asshole." I laughed, "we'll see I guess, we'll see."