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I shouldn't love you, but I want to. I just can't turn away.
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That green little monster came back into my stomache as I watched her hug him tightly.
"Stupid world." I muttered to myself bitterly. "You just had to make horror movies."
I tossed some popcorn up in the air and caught it in my mouth.
"Ah!" Paris screamed again and Terrence's grip on her tightened comfortingly.
Stop coming out of the godamnned TV little girl! I rolled my eyes as she ate the victims face.
Paris was on the verge of crying now, and all I wanted to do was take his spot and kiss away all her fears.
But sadly, I'm still on the opposite side of them on my moms couch lying down alone.
I looked over once more and saw him kiss her forehead lovingly. Why can't this pain go away? Why can't she be mine?
Oh ya that's right... Because she's my brother's girl.
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I shouldn't see you, But I can't move. I can't look away.
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I watched her every move as she ran her heart out. I could tell she was getting tired as the girl behind her was catching up. Paris was going to lose the lead at this rate. I hated seeing this. I badly wanted to jump off of these stands, pick her up, and carry her over the finish line so she could win the Championship.
At the last one hundred meters Paris and the opponent who once was behind her were tied.
"Paris don't give up!" I shouted.
Maybe she heard me, maybe she didn't, but at that moment she decided that she wasn't going to lose. Picking up her pace, Paris overpassed her opponent and ran through the finish line as the victor.
Terrence sprinted off the stands, after she left the field, and ran to her picking her up. He spun her in circles as Paris was smiling and laughing.
But this happy scene wasn't so gleeful for me. I wanted to be happy for her, but all I did was sit in the shadows watching the happy couple, cursing the day I was born. If I wasn't born, I'd never feel this unbearable pain.
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And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not. But I don't know how to make a feeling stop.
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The doorbell rang loudly. I groaned and lazily got up after lying down on the couch. I opened the door and my breathe was taken away just like every time I saw this beautiful girl.
"Paris." I said softly greeting her.
She did a small little awkward wave and asked, "Um. Is Terrence here?"
Of course. It was always about my brother. I gritted my teeth and replied, "Nope. He's out with his friends right now."
She looked down but for some reason she didn't look disappointed, she looked rather happy.
"Okay..." Paris asked politely. "Can I please come in Jack?"
I felt the warmth of happiness coming because she actually wanted to hang out with me. Not Terrence, but me.
