All I've Ever Needed

Chapter 9

October 22, 2013

Val hung the last of the costumes on the rack, thinking how pathetic how must be looking right about now. Everyone was gone and he was left alone backstage. It had been a week since he was practically coerced into sweeping the floors and arranging clothes by colours and nothing had changed. Not that he been expecting it to but that was everyone's hope. A hope that, he felt, was dwindling with every hour. He could see it in their body language. His therapist, his teachers, that guidance counsellor he was forced to see cause apparently he had no direction in life. It was the same look his parents had given his brother. Just as his mother looked at him now.

School wasn't any different. He was just sliding through. He didn't really have any friends. He was talked about that was for sure, Coral had made sure of that. Any girl he walked past gave him a death glare. apparently bad boys weren't all the rage. The boys either gave him a high-five or a look mixed with curiosity and sympathy. He didn't really care though. Well, he kinda cared. He cared about Zendaya. No. He cared what she thought about him. Did she know about Coral? Of course she knew. If there was anything that could be said about Coral it was that she had a big mouth and knew how to use it. He smiled to himself but then shook his head, wondering why he had to be like this. He cursed, out loud apparently because all of a sudden he heard a voice.

"Are you alright there buddy?"

Val turned around and saw Spencer looking back at him, a curious look on his face.

"I just mean, you're cursing at the costumes. They're pretty great costumes actually, I think those trousers over there in the Grease show that the class of '85 did. They're like antique."

Val never really knew how to talk with Spencer and this time it was certainly no different. He was just too much of a pretty boy. A pretty boy Zendaya liked. He turned away from him and kept on hanging the clothes. He heard Spencer's voice again.

"Look Val, I know that you may think that I took your part and maybe I did but this is what I do. Wait not, like I don't take parts from people. I don't lay and wait for people to mess up so I can get their parts because I always get the part." He let out a laugh, it was breathy and insecure. "I'm coming off as the jackass you think I am, right?"

Val turned around again, a softer look on his face than before yet he didn't speak. Spencer saw this as an opportunity.

"I don't have a lot in my life but I do have the stage. Theatre is the only thing that makes any sense in my life, believe me. I'm not a jock. I can't even catch a ball but I'm handsome and I'm smooth. And slick. So it doesn't matter. People don't make life hard for me because of those things."

Val sensed that Spencer needed to say something more and decided to respond to him.

"Well you are all those things. I mean, you're great on that stage. I never had interest in it, I just did it to be a nuisance. But what you're telling me is that you have to do this?"

"It's just, you know ... I live a layered life and acting just makes it easier."

Val understood completely what he meant and his dislike for Spencer started to was away.

"I actually understand what you're talking about. Being a different person in different circumstances. It's tiring, isn't it?"

Spencer avoided looking directly into Val's eyes, constantly darting his eyes around him, never finding a fixed spot. To Val it seemed he was getting more upset by the second.

"Yeah I play a lot of parts. I play the perfect son, the straight A student, the man of every high school girl's desire." He let out a snicker. "I haven't even ... " Spencer caught himself and stopped talking immediately.

Val could read between the lines and

"Ok ... ay ..." He didn't really know what to say but decided to be upbeat about the information he had just accidentally received.

"There comes a time for everything and when you ... feel like it's your time there will be a lovely girl waiting for you ..."

Val felt incredibly uncomfortable in this situation but decided that it was not his place to walk away now. There must be a reason that Spencer was confiding in him.

Spencer just shook his head "I highly doubt that."

"Zendaya likes you" Val grimaced as soon as he let go of those words.

Spencer looked at the floor and whispered "not my type."

Val heard the words and felt offended on behalf of Zendaya. "Not your type? How? I mean, she's beautiful and funny and generous, a bit of a hard head but her soul is just .... oh my god."

It all finally clicked and Val didn't know what to do or say. Spencer still hadn't looked at him but Val could see sadness etched on his face. And that was confirmed when he finally looked up.

"I don't know why I'm telling you this, I've never told anyone before. It just doesn't make sense. I don't know how I ... how I could be ... that."

Val heard the frustration in his voice and for a second he thought about putting his hand on his arm but decided against it. Spencer put a hand through his hair and let out a deep breath. The awkward silence that threatened to fill the air was cut short by Spencer.

"Ehm, so can I trust that you won't tell?"

"Of course. A word about won't pass my lips. But why me? It's not like we're friends."

Spencer seemed to think about it for a moment. "I think because we aren't friends. I could never tell them. They're just ... It wouldn't be pretty. An Zendaya likes you so I know you're trustworthy. You also just seem like the kind of a person who doesn't give a fuck, you know? Like who cares?"

"You do."

"Yeah I do, don't I. I just, I really don't need anything to change right now. At least not until I leave this place for good."

Val gave him a reassuring nod which Spencer reciprocated as he turned to walk away. He stopped mid walk and turned around, giving Val a hesitant look.

Val peered at him, not knowing what to think. "What?"

"It's none of my business but I don't care. Zendaya never liked me. She thought she did because I was one of the first ones to talk to her in school. Like ever. And I think she just got gratitude and infatuation mixed up. I think you should definitely tell her how you feel."

"I don't feel anything."

"From the moment you stepped into this school, you felt it. You're not that good of an actor. Actually you're not really good at all. Try being sincere."

"I'm never sincere."

"Hate to break it to you but you're a pretty good guy. You try not to be but well, this conversation is proof. You're good Chmerkavskiy."

"Not my name."

Spencer shrugged and smiled wide. "I'm not even gonna try. See ya."

"Bye Baldman."

He heard Spencer snicker as Val stood alone again, wondering if Spencer had been right about Zendaya. He finished putting the last two costumes on the rack and grabbed his bag. He knew the janitor would be coming by shortly and he didn't really want, or need, to have a conversation about mothballs and the best equipment for scrubbing parquet floors.

He stepped outside and breathed in the air which was not as foggy as it had been recently. As he prepared to walk home he saw Zendaya on the sidewalk opposite the school. She looked beautiful standing there with her long, brown hair cascading down her back. He decided to walk to her but before he had the chance a silver Audi drove up to her and he saw how her face lit up. She got into the passenger seat and Val couldn't believe his eyes. What was going on? Was this legal?

Why was she leaving with Mr. Platt?