Poetry Lines

Edith

Edith her name was Edith the girl that I fell for the girl I loved the girl I died for. I loved her more than myself only problem was she didn't allow me to love her she didn't want me to be with her she didn't want what I had to offer. Edith wanted to be alone alone with her thoughts alone with her heart alone with her life. She didn't want the burden of loving someone she didn't want the burden of putting her heart into something real she only wanted to be left alone. I tried to love her give her my heart I offered her so much but in the end she didn't think she was worthy she didn't think she deserved it she didn't think she was capable. So she pushed me away by doing everything in her power. She didn't even realize that's what she was doing it was just her natural reaction to people trying to get close go her in a romantic way. I loved Edith so much I became the best friend she wanted I did everything with her just to make her happy I did as she wanted all the while loving her with all my being but she never returned my love she did once she kissed me and showed me her passion in that kiss and after that she left me cold she became distant she became what I didn't want her to be here she didn't want to be. Love scared Edith giving her all to someone was easy to her she treated me as a king but she didn't want to become my heart she was willing to let me love someone else as much as I loved her give my love to them so she pushed me away because what really scared her wasn't the love that came easy the falling in love is what was scary. She was so afraid that she wouldn't do something right and of the proper dating skills she allowed me to be with others although it killed her inside she would smile and pretend she was happy for me and she was genuinely when I found someone else to love she accepted it and she loved me from afar by being the best fiend a guy could have. She learned what it was like to really be alone when I moved on and she was happy that I was happy . Always there when I needed her. And I could see her dying inside each day but she was happy for me she was dying inside not because of me not being with her but because she knew in her soul she wasn't worthy of love that she was meant to be alone forever. She didn't want to be but dating and being with someone never worked for her. Edith had this Great mind where when she pictured something it was beautiful and she pictured us together and it was the best life she ever had. But when she would picture the life with someone it failed so she seen that as God telling her she ruins her own love life so she let me go and suffered until she just couldn't bear it she eventually shut out everyone. Happiness was something she thought she didn't deserve. But she wanted all her friends and family to be happy yet she thought she didn't deserve it she would sit and enjoy the love we all shared for our significant others and die a little . Attending her bestfriends wedding drove her mad on the inside yet we all never knew she was really good at hiding her true feelings. Then her youngest sibling getting married hurt her because she then knew she didn't deserve to be loved. When I got married she was a great support but she still died inside then we stopped hearing from her . Edith went missing. She wrote letters to ensure she was safe and living life. She traveled the world with her wonderful job as a fashion expert we would see her on television being the Happy person she was then one day she came to me and broke down. She told me she wished she could've given me what my wife did that she wished she could have what I and everyone else had. And I tried consoling her but she didn't allow me too she said she needed her pain healed. I knew then I had done that to her broken her beyond repair killed her soul because she was happy in the beginning then I gave up on her love when she was just beginning to return it. I'd broken the woman I was given and went to another I was miserable with. That day we gave in to our love and the morning I awoke I found a letter next to me written by Edith that's said
I shall now die happy knowing I really was capable of loving as well as deserving of live and God wasn't punishing me stay safe and know I will always love you
-goodbye forever James
Love Edith Tyshan Glades
That was the last time me or anyone heard from Edith for six years after she left ......her sister left my son on my doorstep saying that Edith had killed herself and she raised a beautiful baby boy who looked just like me and with my name. I broke down for the first time since I lost her the first time the woman I loved left this earth but not before giving me a small piece of her I broke my Edith we all did by not being there for her like she was there for us and she killed herself but not before writing a letter for each birthday for our son not before giving him her all not before giving him love that she wanted she left me broken as I did her for years I allowed the woman I loved to watch me love someone else as I said I loved her I allowed the woman I love to be broken after I told her I'd never give up I showed her that she was a failure at love because I couldn't even wait for her to come to terms with her feelings and my son grew up hating me for how I left his mother. Edith she was beautiful she was a beautiful soul and she killed herself because all these years she lived with all these mental issues that were caused by all those who said they loved her we never made sure she was truly happy to caught up in ourselves. So she ended all those years of pain and died hating herself for leaving the only person who really loved her. Edith my Edith my beautiful dove I'm sorry I failed you.
Crying she replies you didn't fail me I failed you for I left my love broken as I and even in death I'm still unworthy