Little Wallflower (Kohnnie)

Chapter 3

If any part of this story ever trips you up it's because my ideas come to me after I've laid in the dark for a couple hours and I'm questioning myself for why I fail to fall asleep at night. Thanks for reading <3

*~

It was finally the weekend so I did what I always did on the weekend.

Absolutely. Fucking. Nothing.

I guess it wasn't always a bad thing to be alone all the time. It certainly gives you a lot of quiet time to think. I was thinking today, staring at a band poster on my wall, wondering how their apparent back story of being depressed and suicidal all the time worked out for them. "It gets better" they say. Well, it got better for them, so it's easy for them to say that. Where's my screaming fans? Where's my millions of dollars? He doesn't even know what being alone means anymore. He always has someone to be his backup plan. Where's mine? I'll answer that as soon as I can get a friend. Then I remembered Kyle.

"Johnnie it's your turn to take the trash out. Get on it." Bryan said from outside my door.

"Nobody here takes the trash out. You're still single." I said back, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't still standing there waiting for my witty comeback. I groaned and stood up from my bed and walked out to the trash can. Which was completely empty besides a frozen pizza box from tonight's dinner that Bryan was currently making in the oven. I rolled my eyes and closed the lid.

Bzzz bzzz

I looked up from the garbage slightly. What was that sound that distracted me from my thoughts about comparing myself to an empty trash can?

Bzzz bzzz

I sighed and walked towards the couch where I found my phone. I had two text messages from- you guessed it- Kyle.

"Hey"

"Are you okay?"

I answered with a quick "define okay" and dropped my phone back on the couch. I heard it buzz again but ignored it. Why is he making such an effort to talk to me?

*~

Sure I'll admit weekends are boring but I'd rather be in my room over thinking the smallest things than being here in this cramped white classroom forced to focus on things I couldn't care less about. It also doesn't help that I'm failing just about every class because I never do homework, therefore I never understand anything. And I don't care enough to. As soon as this year ends Bryan is going to pull me out of school. And I'm pretty sure I never have to find the square root of 182 at any point in my life anyway. Then the bell finally rang. And I had to go to homeroom with him.

--

"What are you most scared of?" He asked me as soon as he saw me. He sat down right in front of me and I shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess it's pretty creepy to think about how everyone's scared of the world ending, when for someone out there, their world just ended and only a handful of people are effected by it." I said. He looked somewhat frightened by what I said and cleared his throat, nervously tucking his bangs under his beanie.

"That's pretty dark, dude." He said. He looked at me expectantly. Was I supposed to say something?

"Uh..um what's your biggest fear?" I asked. Was that what he wanted? Well he smiled so I guess so.

"I'm really scared of spiders," He said, and I actually laughed a little, then he added "and losing people I care about." I felt the tension around me grow stronger and I rolled my eyes. Force of habit.

"Well, I hope no one you care about leaves you then." I told him. He weakly nodded then stared at me.

"Me too." He said quietly so only I could hear.

"Can you...why are you...stop staring at me." I said. Being under his gaze was also scary and intimidating. Was he pointing out my flaws to himself? Was he staring at a pimple? Does he notice my eyeliner and is going to call me a fag?

"I'm sorry I was staring." He said, then looked away slightly.

"Well, why were you staring at me?" I asked, not sure if I wanted to hear his answer. He smiled and looked down at his folded hands, his thumbs anxiously twirling around each other.

"It's not every day you see the sky captured so perfectly, so...so boldly into someone's eyes. You stole it right from above our heads, and when I looked into them, I guess I was flying." He said. What? I couldn't find a single thing to say to that. I just blushed and stood up, excusing myself to use the bathroom.

The nerve of that boy to compliment my eyes like that! How he explained them, you would think this is a movie. Who does he think I am? Does he think I'll slip him all my secrets because of a compliment? What does he want from me? I texted Bryan to pick me up. I needed to go home and think some more.