That blue hair'd douch is my dad

My name is Porcelain Ramsay, and yes my father is Josh Ramsay. I am an only child that lives with my dad, his band and their familys. We live in their band house, I have a cousin, Tristan Ayley who is 3 years older then me, and a brother, JJ Ramsay who is 10 years younger then I am by the way I'm 18 and unfortunatally one of the most popular kids at Magee, I hate it with a passion all I want is to be left alone for once. Uncle Matt and Aunt Alice actually got married, they got together a few months after I was born. The sad thing was my mom wasn't around anymore, she died when I was 10, I only remember a few things about her. I hate it, I got to see my cousin who had both his parents but I didn't, I didn't have a choice. My dad sometimes slipped into days of depression and he never really looked at me anymore. I looked a lot like my mom but I don't really see it, I did dye my hair purple and blue so that made me rezemble her less.

I still had the same room, or my dads old room I was told, but now it was blue and purple now. You would never guess what goes on when I close my doors and shut out the world.

"Porcelain, lunch's ready," JJ called.

It scared me and the scissors slipped. Yes, I cut and I use nail scissors so it wasn't suspicuous. It began to bleed really heavily, I cleaned them up, put some gause on it and went to join my insane family.

"Hey, how are you Porcelain?" Aunt Alice asked.

"Fine," I replied quickly and grabbed a plate of food.

I took off back upstairs and set my plate on my desk. I pulled up my sleeve and pulled the blood soaked gause off. I pressed some more gause and hoped the blood would stop. Eventually I began to feel slightly light headed and I knew I needed help. The only person who knew about my cutting was Tristan, I carefully walked across my room and called Tristan.

"Ya Porce, what's up?" he asked; "Oh my god what happened?"

He saw how pale I was getting and that I nearly fell over.

"I cut to deep," I said softly.

"Okay, I'll take you to the hospital but this is the last time. You need to tell your dad soon," He warned.

Tristan grabbed me a baggy hoodie and I threw it on. I discreatly leaned on Tristan as we walked out of the house. Tristan said that we were going for a drive. I tried not to pass out on the drive but failed. We were so close when I passed out.

When I woke up I was in a hospital bed feeling very light headed. I had a few needles in me and my arms were almost completely bare, almost all my scars on my arms were showing. I still had tones on my legs and hips. I tried to listen to sounds from outside my room. Saddly I heard my dad and Tristan arguing in the hall.

"Why didn't you tell me Tristan?" my dad asked.

"Because I promised her I wouldn't, Porcelain told me she was going to tell you soon," Tristan yelled back.

"Well she didn't and it was your obligation to tell me, especally since she's self harming," My dad yelled.

I stopped listening after that, I hated when my dad yelled. I felt tears begin to run down my face and I put me arms under the blankets. I didn't want anyone to see the extent of my scars, no one, not even Tristan knew how bad my situation really was. I started cutting when I was told my mom had died. I had gone on a downward spiral of depression, I don't know how I'm still so popular. I was broken inside and out, I had sevear depression, and I cut that is so worthy of being popular. I began to hear footsteps come into my room, I pulled the blankets to my neck and just waited.

"Porcelain, it's just me," Tristan said.

"Please tell me that JJ's not here," I begged.

"He's not, he went to see your grandparents," Tristan explained.