Diall: The Untold Story

Chapter 8: All Mixed Up

Demi and I slowly stopped talking. I don't think she knew how to handle having feelings for both me and Wilmer. Even though I knew Wilmer wouldn't end up being Demi's forever, I never tried to ruin them. They were constantly on and off, so I knew it would end without me having to a make a fool of myself.

In the beginning of May, Demi's new album, DEMI, came out which included a song called Something That We're Not. The whole twitterverse was convinced it was about me, but I didn't want to believe it. I gave it a listen and immediatly it brought mixed feelings and thoughts. We never hooked up so it couldn't be about me, right? I replayed it over and over again until I was convinced it was loosley based off me. It was so embarressing. I never bothered tweeting about her new ablum even though most of my fans already connected me to it. I began to regret everything and question if what we had would ever turn into I wanted it to be. Did I get carried away? Did I make everything into a bigger deal with her than it really was? I shouldn't have told all the lads about us or talked to any tabloids about my crush, ecspecailly that one interview when I said I wish I had kissed her after the VMAs. What was I thinking? Demi Lovato would never date a scrawny Irish boy like me. Even if she wanted to, she would never pick me. I'm not Wilmer Valderamma or Joe Jonas. I'm just Niall Horan. 

 Surprisingly at the end of May, I got a text from Demi. 

Demi: Hey, sorry I haven't talked to you in a while. I've been sooooo busy with my new album. I'm here in London promoting it, want to hang out?

Me: Can't I'm on tour.

I reread her text. How could she ignore me, write an embarressing song about me, and then just want to "hang out"? I texted her again. This time sounding a bit spiteful.

Me: I wouldn't want you thinking we're something that we're not.

It took Demi what must've been half an hour to reply. I wanted her to know that I knew. I just wanted the truth.

Demi: ...That wasn't about you I promise. We never hooked up and we kept clear boundaries. If anything it was my falut for ever blurring them. I shouldn't have led you on like that..

Me: It's ok Dem, you don't have to lie to me. I can take it. And say hello to Wilmer for me.

Demi: We broke up...

Me: So am I your booty call??

I want her more than anyone else, but I can't be her punching bag anymore.

Demi- I really just wanted a friend. That song could have been partly about you. You were moving things too fast for me and I think I was scared and when I'm scared I ignore people or take it out through music. This time it was both..I'm sorry for everything..can we start fresh?

Me: I don't know if we can anymore. You keep hurting me and I deserve someone who won't, but I can't forget you no matter what. How about next time we're in the same place we sort this out?

Demi: Okay. I really am sorry. I never meant to be such a bitch.

Me: You're not a bitch. It's whatever.

Demi: :/

 I was heading back home to Mullingar the next day and could easily travel to London the day after, but I didn't know if I was ready to see her again. Everything was so confusing to me. What happens if she gets back together with Wilmer? Will she go back to pretending like I don't matter?

I took my phone out of my pocket, opened up me and Demi's conversation and began to type a reply telling her I was going to be back in the UK for the next few days and if she was still there we could see each other if our schedules lined up. I stared at the screen until the words blurred and the world seemed empty. I snapped out of it when my mom called me. The vibration startled me. "What the craic?!" I said out of shock before answering it. She called to confirm when I'd be getting home tomorrow. I could tell she wanted to talk longer, but I made sure to keep it short. Everything felt too clouded at the moment. Once the call eneded I was brought back to my unsent message. I ended up deleting it before I could compulsively send the message. I knew if I did I'd regret it. Everything about Demi drew me in even when I was at my angriest. Having Demi in my life has been the been the best and worst thing to ever happen to me.