Love to be Loved

In Denial Process (Chapter 2)

Being like this for almost a month would think that I am a very crazy person Siguro nagtatanong ang mga tao kung bakit ganito talaga ang ginagawa ko sa buhay. Why ruin your life for somebody like him~ Psh. Nasasabi lang nila yan kasi hindi sila nasa posisyon mo. Akala nila madali lang mag move on pero HINDI. Lalo na at walong taon ang ginugol mo sa pag-aakala na siya lang talaga para sayo. Pero I know that this is not the end of my world I know makakalimutan ko rin si Greg but I know deep inside my heart I am still hoping. Hoping na babalik siya at magmamakaawa na patawarin ko siya and I know I could say NO to him. I love him. I already gave everything to him, forgiveness pa kaya? I know I sound so stupid but Love makes the people stupid and I am the victim of it.

"Goodmorning" bati ko sa kanila mom and dad na kumakain ng agahan

"anak, I'm glad that you have decided to join us, come. sit here" dali dali akong pinaupo ni dad sa bakanteng upuan.

"ahm. tnx dad. " I smiled.

"What do you want? bacon? pancakes?" mom asked.

"tapsilog mom, na-miss ko na po yun eh. "

Napangiti si Mom. She knew too well na tapsilog talaga yung gusto kong agahan. I always prefer to eat rice in the morning. Pinoy tayo eh:)

"Sige anak, heto dalawang itlog na yan ha?" sabay lagay ng pagkain sa pinggan ko.

"thank you mom btw, where's kuya?"

"maagang umalis anak, makikipagkita yata sa kay Cleo. kain ng marami 'nak, pumayat ka ng masyado" nag-aalalang sabi ni mama.

"I'm sorry for being a mess the whole month mom" I know I'm a mess. Halos napabayaan ko na ang language center and I am very thankful na kuya always look after the center. Alam niya na mahalaga ang center na yun sakin. I realized that I have been a brat and an immature one. I wasted a month, closing doors to everyone but at the same time I felt that I did the right thing. The whole time I shut myself from the world was the time I found myself. I realized that pain really changes a person. Too much pain can rotate your life into 360 degrees. Alam ko na hindi madaling mag move on but for now I really can't imagine myself moving on. I'm still in denial even after a month but I don't want to pressure myself of moving on. Time will come at matatanggap ko din ito. I just need time and I need to get a new beginning.

"ahm. Mom? Can I have a proposal?" I hesitate to tell them of my plan

"Sure anak.What is it?" My dad answered focusing on me

"ah-eh Well. I have decided that I really need to get a new beginning"

"That's great Liz, thank God after a month you have realized it. So what's your plan?" mom said

"I am planning to go to L.A, if that's fine with you" I just hope dad would be on my side this time

"What are you going to do in L.A Liz?" Mom asked me, tiningnan ko si dad but he's still looking intently at me na para bang may hinihintay siya na sabihin ko.

"Honestly mom, dad, I don't know. But I really need to leave this place, alam ko na mahirap na malayo sa inyo mom but I need this to move on. Ayokong magstay dito 'coz every part of this house, everywhere I go maaalala ko lang ang sakit na ginawa sakin ni Greg, I hope you understand me. I just really need this" hindi ko magawang tingnan ang dalawa kong magulang.

"If that's what you want Elizabeth. You need a breath of fresh air anak. You deserve to be happy again, right langga?" he referred to mom.Nakangiting tumango si Mom even though nakikita q na hesitant siya. Napatingin ako kay dad after he had said those words.

"Thank you Dad! Thank you mom! I know na mahirap para sa inyo to let me go knowing that I am your baby girl but I think your baby girl really needs to act like a lady na. I need to be mature. I'm 25 already. Thank you! "

"Of course we understand it anak, we know how much pain you've been through and hindi madaling mag move on as long as every corner of the place, every people you see ay si Greg ang maiisip mo. Let karma have a sweet revenge to him darling. You are beautiful anak, always remember that" tagos sa puso na sinabi ni mom. Napayakap ako kay mom after she said it. I am very blessed to have them as my parents.

"When do you plan to leave?" dad asked

"I don't know if you could get me a ticket for nextweek dad?" I smiled. Of course obvious na makakuha ng ticket si dad kahit ngayong araw q pa hingiin. He is a powerful man.

"You know the answer anak " He smiled genuinely.