I'd Give You My Life

Scared Of The Dark

As always, thank you for reading and I would like to dedicate this chapter to ClearTheHorizon because she is an amazing friend and always supports me in all of my books. Please, to anyone who reads this, go and check out her profile ;-p

*Newt's POV*

I blame myself to be honest. As I feel so bad, sitting here next to Thomas. He got beaten quite badly and I don't know how I'm going to forgive myself for letting Gally get his hands on him.
Thomas was currently asleep on my bunk, all patched up and silently resting. I couldn't help but watch him as he slept, when asleep his face was free of the tension that had been so prominent since his arrival. I was propped up on my right elbow, facing him, on Chucks bed.

All of a sudden, I heard the door of the homestead being opened and then banged shut. Chuck was back. I thought fast and pretended to be asleep. Maybe then he would let me keep his bunk and instead crash on the spare, I wanted to be able to keep on eye on Thomas...For medical reasons of course. 

I lay there, faking sleep, when I feel my shoulders being shaken gently, but I stay where I was.
"Newt." I heard Chuck whisper as he shook me again, "Newt!"
But I lay there, staying as still as possible. I could have asked but feigning sleep seemed like the easier option. Giving up, Chuck settled on the spare bed on the other side of the room, partially separated by a small screen that we used when changing, for privacy. 

I lay there in the dark for what seemed like an eternity, but Chuck was quick to fall asleep, judging from his slow, regular breaths. With Chuck dreaming ,I opened my eyes, only to meet another pair staring at me in the dark.

"So you weren't asleep then." Came an amused voice.
Shuck, it was Tommy.

I quickly looked away, wondering if he knew I'd been staring at him, "Could have been, shuck-head"

"Sure you were." Thomas replied laughter ebbing into his voice, turning onto his back and putting his hands behind his head. A smirk was plastered on his face, his features handsome and impish. His shirt had ridden up to expose his slightly midriff which looked ghostly white in the pale shards of light scattered through the room from the moon. I let my gaze hover for a second before training it at the ceiling. 

"The bed alright?" I asked, half to respark the conversation and half because I wasn't entirely certain that there hadn't been various books, cutlery and other mystery items scattered throughout my bed throws. I usually either went on walks at night or kept myself occupied or amused myself with other pursuits, propped up against my headboard, reading or attempting to take apart discarded pieces of machinery that the field hands didn't need. 

"Perfect. Better than that cage by a long shot" He laughed but it was strained around the edges. A silence filled the room as we each recalled the horror of the cage. The lack of a beginning besides having the earth open up above you, the start of your memory-committed life essentially being transferred from one small box to a much bigger one. A bigger box but a box all the same. Because that's what the glade was really, our larger cage.

"My face hurts like a bitch." 

"Want something for it?"

"Nah, you sleep."

I got up anyway. The bathroom cabinet has quite a mixture of herbal remedies, Chuck's quite into plants and their properties. I fetched a bowl of water, the water was warm from the pipes -which got baked in the sun during the day- added the necessary plant pastes and powders and grabbed a cloth.  

Thomas was propped on his elbows when I returned, staring at me with something unreadable in his eyes, his face serious but not in an uninviting way. I settled myself next to the bed, bowl beside me, and dipped the cloth into the solution before bringing it up to Thomas's face. He turned his body to face me so that I had easier access to the cuts, one gracing his brow, another through his lip where it had split, another following the graceful curve of his nose. 

I used the cloth lightly on all these areas, staring intently at the back of my hand holding the cloth, trying not to notice Thomas's eyes trained on my face. The tenderness of the moment felt almost loving, too gentle and uncertain to play off. I caught his eye and forced a grin onto my face,

"Still as ugly but at least the cuts are clean now." 

Thomas let out a snort of laughter, letting his body fall to the bed. He turned his head to face me, the smile still playing on his lips, 

"Glad to hear that. Sorry that you had to stare at it for that long, what do I owe you for psychological damages?" 

It my turn to laugh, quietly of course as I was still very aware of Chuck sleeping only a few meters away, it was easy to forget he was there behind the screen. Until this moment it had felt as though Thomas and I were the only two people existing and when I met his eyes again this continued to feel true. 

His laughter faded slightly as the joke hung in the air, me still crouched by the bed, him lying on his side. The space between our faces didn't feel very far all of a sudden. I noticed how long his eyelashes were, framing his eyes like a question as I continued to sit, the smile losing it's hold on my face as I waited for what would come next. 

My mind willed Thomas's face to bridge the gap but only the silence hung between us. Without thinking, almost as if my body moved of it's own accord, I leaned towards Thomas, meeting our lips. Without waiting I leaned into it, fueled by the anxiety that now screamed in my head. Thomas melted under me, his lips parting, his breath hot, a small sigh escaping him as his hands moved to grip my sides as he sat up to facilitate the kiss. 

His hands now disappeared up my shirt and it was my turn to let out my own sound of approval. We broke away what felt like mere seconds yet hours from when we started. I didn't have time to arrange my face and could imagine what I must look like to Thomas, breathless and blank. His face, however was arranged in something unreadable. With the moment over the spell had lifted and he gave a pained looked before,

"That- We shouldn't have done that Newt. "

He turned then, with his back to me and lay there on the bed, me still kneeling on the floor, the bowl of herbal solution and discarded cloth by my knees. I struggled to my feet, still  staring at Thomas's back. He was holding his breath, his body not moving. I didn't wait around to hear him take back his actions with his words, and instead moved my feet in the direction of the door, the silence pressing down on me from all sides. 

Chuck was still asleep behind the screen. I made sure to shut the door quietly on my way out before high-tailing it into the woods by the pit.