Rants about Depression,suicide,selfharm and anxiety and they all kill

TRIGGER WORNING!!!! Rant.

So I've been told to kill myself is this last week so many times and its not cool. I honestly don't know if they meant it or not but it really hurts when people tell me I should kill myself. It's like really you don't think I've tried that?

I've tried to kill myself more times then I can count honestly. I know that's also not cool but how many of you that have depression and anxiety haven't even thought about ending it? I also am a huge Hippocrit I tell people "it's okay " oor things will get better" "just stop cutting it does nothing for you but make things worse" extra but I can't even put down the razor or the pills long enough to help myself but I try to fix everyone else.

Last year I lost a good part of my year to depression to where it just took over and I lost all my friends and when I got out of it I promised myself I wouldn't but well guess what I broke my promise and not I self harm daily and I know there will come a day where I can't cover up what I have done and that day will be soon or I might die first but either way the thought is scary to think about yet soothing to know my time will come sooner then intended.