Insincere Veneer

|Chapter 17|

Hi! Thanks to all of you, we're pretty close to a thousand reads! That's amazing! Thank you, thank you, and thank you a million times more! =)

I'd like to dedicate this chapter to SanaiyaSheikh7 ! Check out her books, if you're interested!

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Enjoy this chapter!

|Chapter 17|

The drive to the carnival was full of jovial laughter and ridiculous singing. The whole time, my eyes were fixed on the trees that passed in a fast motion as the car raced. My palms got more clammy and sweaty the closer we got to our destination, and my heart didn't beat any slower. My nervousness and anxiety got the best of me and I felt like I was about to pass out.

The carnival used to be my favorite place when I was a kid. My parents used to take me there before middle school, when I lost the spark of having any fun at all, and when my chances of having a pleasant life were crushed into a million tiny pieces right beneath my bullies' feet.

"Earth to Elizabeth!" Eleanor exclaimed, snapping me out of my trance. The car was parked and in front of us was the carnival itself. I took a glance at Sophia, who was staring at me with a sad expression on her face.

"Lizzy, are you okay?" she asked me with so much concern. I nodded, giving her a small smile.

"Well, come on! Let's go!" Eleanor squealed before hopping out of the car.

And that's exactly what we did. Sophia held both our hands and dragged us towards the entrance, giggling in so much excitement that it was contagious. A grin made its way to my face and my heart started doing back flips. I suddenly felt really happy and free.

I felt like a kid, again.

Like who I used to be before all the bullying happened. When I used to worry about whether or not I'll ever be able to find my doll, not whether or not I'll be able to survive a school day. When I cried because I couldn't find Mom in the grocery store, or because I got my candies taken away from me, not because I was being pushed around and hit like a punching bag, or being called names only by the callous bullies of my school.

But it's all different, now.

It was like I forgot about all my worries. I felt so wild, like nothing can ever stop me. We ran all together towards the rollercoaster ride and stood impatiently in the line, chatting excitedly about how much we're going to enjoy every single bit of it.

We went on numorous rides after that and our exhilaration never died. We were unstoppable. Or at least, we thought so. The sounds that our tummies made were our only obstacles. That's when we had to stop at a hot dog car to buy a sandwich or two in order to satisfy our ravenous selves.

"This is so much fun!" Eleanor exclaimed with her mouth full of food. I scrunched my nose in utter disgust at the sight.

"Close your mouth," I scolded her. Sophia giggled as Eleanor frowned. As usual, her giggles were so contagious that we all started laughing as well.

"Seriously, though. I haven't had this much fun in ages!" Eleanor started clapping her hands like a retarded seal. I grinned before taking a bite out of my sandwich.

"Yeah, me neither," I said after swallowing.

The place was crowded. It was filled with giggling children, wild teenagers, and lovely couples. Everyone was having a great time, with no doubt. It was hard not to feel amazing here.

The place made me feel ever so optimistic and ecstatic. I feel different. So very different, that I can't exactly explain or describe how I really feel.

All I know is, it felt so right.

It felt real. Like this is who I actually am, the real me. A happy girl. A carefree person. Someone who's amiable and genial. Someone I never thought I'd be.

Someone I'm currently trying to prove to people I'm not.

"Elizabeth? Hello?" A hand started waving in from of my face. My eyes snapped at Eleanor and I started blinking rapidly.

"Y-yes?" I stuttered, confused.

"You zoned out. Again." She rolled her eyes, smiling. I felt hot blood rushing upon my cheeks. I blushed like an idiot.

"Oh. Err- I'm sorry," I apologized, embarrassed. Eleanor chuckled.

"Don't apologize, silly girl. Now, let's take a walk to get some of that food digested before we go on more rides!" I smiled at her enthusiasm and nodded. Sophia jumped from her seat started twirling around.

"Let's go!" she excalimed.

And we did.

A long walk around and numorous rides later, we were parked in front of my house, the only source of light that illuminated the black sky above us was the full moon.

"Bye!" Eleanor smiled widely at me as she waved.

How can someone be so cheerful?

Sophia and I waved back before exiting the car and entering our house. Sophia ran into our living room, where my father and mother were sitting. I followed behind her in a slower speed, due to how worn out I was.

"We're here!" my little sister exclaimed before jumping on Mom's lap. My mom giggled at her cuteness (everyone does) and they both started chatting about it. I wished them a quick "good night" and went up to my room.

After changing into my comfy pajamas and plopping on my bed, the thinking factory in my brain started working and my conscience came alive again.

You bonded with Eleanor.

You hung out with her.

You were both being friendly.

You showed her your good side.

You showed her who you are behind your fake facade.

You screwed it all up.

Way to go.

I forcefully held my pillow and pressed it on my head, trying to shoo away the mocking, taunting, haunting voices.

It's either you avoid and ignore her, or you can consider yourself dead.

Defunct.

Gone.

Vanished.

Finished.

So what are you going to choose?