Insincere Veneer

|Chapter 28|

Hello! Have a blessed Friday, loves! Thanks a lot for your support, once again. I really appreciate it. 😭❤️

This one's dedicated to anthea555 ! You are absolutely amazing. 😍

Enjoooooy! 💕

|Chapter 28|

The second my eyes opened this morning, it felt like I was new. Like I was born again, fresh and breathing. Alive and animate. I loved the feeling. I felt lighter, like the weight on my shoulders has been lifted off me. And honestly, I don't remember the last time I felt that way.

It was when I remembered why I felt that way, that I was flooded with absolute terror. The memories of last night started playing like a broken record, over and over again. All the highlights replayed, as if they wanted me to regret my actions. To regret everything that slipped from my mouth.

And I began to.

It's like my conscience literally hated me. Like it only wanted to put me down. To make me hate myself and the world around me. It mocked me and taunted me.

You're going to regret what you've done, soon.

You're repeating your mistakes.

It will only go in circles.

Are you enjoying getting hurt? Because you're only bring it to yourself.

You're a moron.

You will have to take the full responsibility of your stupid actions.

It felt like I was being bullied by myself. And thinking about that made me feel like I'm mentally sick. However, my conscience is absolutely right. What I did yesterday could lead to two things: the first being the beginning of another year of being implacably bullied, and the second being a friendship that could actually be successful.

And I hope it's the latter.

I don't know what's gotten over me yesterday, but I couldn't take it anymore. It has been absolutely hectic. It was like bomb after bomb was dropped on me and I was the one to explode. The final bomb that Eleanor dropped was the one to make me cause a massive destruction. A gruesome catastrophe. The sadness I saw in her eyes reminded me of mine when I met my reflection everyday. It was heartbreaking. And so, I had to let it all go. It was like I was sinking in the ocean due a heavy weight I was carrying with me, and I had only two choices: either to drop all the weight and breathe the oxygen I've been longing for, or keep sinking as the water suffocated me to death. I had to drop everything. I had to let everything sink into the deepest pits of my memories so that hopefully, they wouldn't resurface again.

   Nevertheless, I didn't feel remorse. Not the slightest bit. And I was fretting over whether or not that was something to be petrified with fear of, because the Elizabeth before yesterday's dinner would have slapped herself twice for only thinking about spilling the beans about her pathetic past. And Elizabeth, today, is feeling hopeful about the future.

Eleanor and Justin gave me hope.

   I'm not going to lie; I am slightly scared of what the trust I have in the siblings could do to me. It could either destroy me, completely, or heal me, once and for all. But I have an odd feeling, in me, that they're worth the risk.