There is this heavy darkness
This lingering sadness and I do not know what to do
I'm not good at doing anything anymore
I'm often tired and in pain
I have no aim.
I lost all excitement to play this game
I don't like this
I don't enjoy any of it. Not even the aspect of love
It all goes away at some point.
I am losing it.
I lost one thing and then it was the next.
I lost it for poetry. I can't write. Lost it for music. I never sing. I lost it for life. There is no joy here and
I don't know what to do anymore.
No one responds anymore
Master is too busy,
Peanut is trying to create a future,
My friends and I have problems
Everything is separated and segmented and
MY
LIFE
HAS
FALLEN
APART
I am the helpless and the weak.
I lost the beat
I can't even sleep
Barely even eat
I am empty
The empty vessel
Your empty friend
Your hopeless
Helpless
Grieving friend.
Grieving because someone she knew
Died.
The girl she was suppose to love, died and she never got to love her
Was never sure if she wanted to
She killed her
She murdered her.
I have truly fallen
I am so heavy.
I am so tired.
I am simply exhausted.
Exhausted and afraid.
Because, this feels like the final relapse,
Instead of what I hoped to be an everlasting recovery.
I am so empty.
Nothing inside of me
Only my silhouette is left.
A darker shadow of who I used to be.
Who I want to be.
