# Numb
I'm dying,
On Thursday I told myself I'd never stop pushing,
My dad asked me if I was stupid,
He yelled.
I was quiet.
My poetry is filled with reruns,
Redo..
Overdo..
Cycle of words
Process of the same conflicted emotions,
Main tag: Confusion
Common word: Pain
"You decide on what you want right? Or does he make all your decisions for you?"
If you're referring to that guy back in 4th or 5th grade,
Yes, he makes all my decisions.
You're strong.
I don't need anyone to tell me that,
You've got emotions but they never overpower you - I wish I was like you.
Its been two day, I told myself I'd stop crying and push on,
On the first day I did well, I was mute for an entire day,
The second day went the same,
This is the third -
Empty
I am dying.
I am not breathing -
I cannot breathe - my empty lungs are filled with sorrow -
My heartbeats are shaking my entire body,
I wish I was as strong as you. I want to turn my emotions off for a while, I'm sick and tired of annoying you and my mom and my dad with my constant tears and constant stupidity. I'm sorry. I want to be stronger than I am. I want to be that girl that stood out to you. I want to be special for you and everyone else around me.
I want to be enough. I want to help, I want to be pretty, I want to be smart, I hate stereotypes. I wish I was enough for you. I wish to be amazing for you.
I'm dying.
Drowning. I told myself to stop feeling. The emotions are contracting - clustering around my heart and its heavy and I can feel the panic attack, but I won't say it, because,
You're tired of hearing that I'm tired.
You're tired of hearing that I'm in pain.
You want me to grow up and face life
I know
I'm trying
. I promised I would
Just give me a moment though - please
I'm dying, because there's so much I wanna say and so much I wanna do and I can't get to tell you or show you and all these things are a glitch in the system and I just making everything worse when I keep talking - keep feeling - keep breathing -
I wish you'd understand...
I wish I was what you needed but - Who needs Confusion?
I love you and all things blue.
I hate clichés
I wish you'd breathe into me -
I'm dying.
