Yogscast One-Shots

[NanoCoffee] Counting Stars

I glance over at your quietly sleeping form. You always looked so calm as you slept, all the tension drained from your face, replacing it with a peaceful expression. You looked cute, like a small child. You looked so many years younger like this.

I sigh, giving you one more fond look, before turning my gaze to the stars outside, twinkling happily on the other side of the glass pane.

It can get lonely, sometimes, in a way. I'm always so worried for you now. You almost never ate 'cause you always forget, and you never slept either; constantly worked yourself to exhaustion. If I weren't here- I hate to think it, but you'd probably be dead; or worse.

Thankfully, this was one of the rare occasions you'd fallen asleep in a bed, even if you did actually pass out on it. But I was even more grateful for the fact that you didn't seem to be dreaming tonight, because when you did, your sleep would be constantly filled with nightmares. There was probably a star in the sky for every time I'd woken up to faint whimpers escaping your slightly parted lips, your face contorted uncomfortably from fear.

And that's a lot of stars to count.

I slide myself out from under my thick covers, careful to shift my weight in slow movements so that the hammock wouldn't creak.

I winced slightly as I pressed my bare feet on the cold brick floor, standing up and slowly making my way towards the stairs which lead to the bottom floor of our sleeping complex.

I crept down the steps and slipped outside into the cool night air. I take a deep breath and sit on the steps by the door. Setting my elbows on my knees, and my head in my hands I cast my gaze upwards to the sky once again.

The moon was high in the inky blackness of the night, casting a pale glow on the world below, with no clouds to block its brilliant light tonight.

I trace the constellations with my eyes, unable to keep the small smile from weeding its way onto my face. It was the small things like this I missed the most.

I thought back to when I was younger, about how I used to climb anything tall and pretend I could touch the sky. It felt like so long ago, those small moments I can barely remember now. My small smile faltered sadly and melted back down into a pit in my stomach.

I idly wondered what his life had been like when he was younger. I don't think it could have been very good. Anytime the subject was directed at him, he'd get this small suppressed look of fear in his eyes and change the subject abruptly, or pretend he hadn't heard me.

Maybe he was abused, I thought. And he's not exactly been the most mentally stable person ever, and his increasing anxiety and paranoia certainly never helps matters in the slightest. But I'd like to think I'm slowly fixing him. Piecing back together what was broken so long ago, that it seemed beyond hope or redemption.

With a small sigh, I begrudgingly rise to my feet, sticking my arms in the air and stretching my sore back. I take my time walking back inside, shutting the doors and heading silently back up the many wooden steps, ready to go back to bed.

I freeze halfway up when I hear it; that small, almost insignificant whimper, followed by the frantic shuffling of sheets as he tossed and turned in his sleep.

I bound up the rest of the stairs and rush over to his side. His previously peaceful face was twisted into one of extreme emotional agony, as he frantically muttered un-comprehensible in his dream. I could see his eyes flicking around in a panic like maneuver through his closed eye lids.

I swiftly pull myself onto the mattress and crawl over to you. In a tender movement I move some of the messy blonde mess from your face. I give you a light shake, softly calling your name. I watch as, with white knuckles, you only grip the duvet tighter, causing the soft purple material to crease.

"Lalna?" I call softly. "Lalna, wake up Lalna." I try again, giving him another shake, slightly harder this time.

Unfortunately the only response I got in return was another scared whimper. I can't help but feel a twinge of pity for you. I always used to wonder why you hardly ever slept, frequently complaining and scolding you on that very fact. But now I knew better. I still scold you for not sleeping, but at least now I'm not ignorant.

"Lalna!" I say again, quiet a fair bit louder this time. I grab you shoulders and shake you once again, hard. I watch in relief as your eyes quickly snap open, almost half lidded. You tried to push yourself up a bit, which you managed to do without too much effort, but your eyes are still racing around the room with little to none recognition, breathing heavily.

I grab his face with both my hands, forcing him to look at me. He flinched and tried to pull away, but I managed to hold him there until he calmed a bit more, recognising the familiar face.

"Hey, it's okay now, hmm? Everything's fine now Lalna. I'm right here." I coo softly, looking into his eyes. I ignore the purple irises and instead remember back to when they were a beautiful emerald green- I can still see those eyes there.

"N-Nano?" He asked shakily. I could see his eyes brimming slightly. He looks as if he's about to say more but I cut him off with a hug. He tenses at first, before slowly hugging me back, burying his face in my shoulder. I can hear his muffled sobs, and feel his body shake with what possibly could be relief.

"Shhh... It's okay, everything's okay. I'm still here. Nothing's happened. It was just a dream."

After a while, we pull away from the embrace. I give him a small smile and he gives one back as best he can.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask cautiously. He just shakes his head and looks down at his hands.

After another few minutes of silence, I go to get off the bed when I feel him catch my arm. I glance back over my shoulder at him, giving him a questioning look.

His eyes were wide, and slightly desperate when he spoke. "Stay? Can you st-stay with me?" he asks tentatively.

I pause. That was new. He'd never asked me to stay with him before. Whatever he saw must've really scared him. I look back at his eyes, and after a seconds hesitation I nod my head and crawl back over to him.

Laying down and pulling him down next to me, I lay my head on his chest and curl into his warmth. Through a sleepy haze, I vaguely felt him adjust the duvet to cover us both, before he settled himself and wrapped an arm around me.

I smile, hearing his breathing even out into a steady rhythm beneath me. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad, sleeping against him every night. Because I was sure, that after tonight, I never once woke up to his dreams.

I'm really awesome at fixing him, now aren't I?