Lullaby Of Pain

Giving Up & Trying Again

... Sad Beginning, Happy Ending ...

Laying in my bed but I am not sleeping,

Crying in my room and I keep it top secret,

Because people tell me they care but they do not mean it.

I'm cut open even though I am not bleeding,

My heart is broken so imma make it stop beating.

I got cocky.

But I wanna die, not gonna lie.

Thoughts of suicide keep crossing my mind on a regular basis.

Everyone with grudges towards me,

Is gonna love this.

Smiles on their faces when my death goes public.

I've been wishing to die ever since I was 9,

This isn't a lie.

I don't cry just to spit,

Just to try to quilt trip.

Cause I could give two shits about your pity.

I ain't trying to get everyone to feel bad for me,

I'd rather dis everyone and make y'all mad at me.

I ain't a happy person and I ain't that light.

Not even by myself.

I know I ain't that nice.

I'm done, that's it, I quit trying to live up to the expectations everyone has set for me.

I don't wanna see where I end up at the end.

Fuck my destiny.

I'm waiting for their reaction.

Suddenly someone walks in,

Wait they ain't laughing.

They read it and start crying.

They actually do care,

I'm shocked, I can't believe they're sad that I ain't there.

They miss me.

Man what a horrible mistake I made,

And I can't take it back,

It's way too late.

If only I could relive my life,

I'd re-make this thing,

Rewrite the hook and it would be like.

Life's shit,

but I'm taking matters to my own hands.

I wanna grow up I can deal with change

Even if everything gets rearranged.

Maybe my life's a disaster

and time keeps going by faster.

But now I can see all that shit don't matter.

Fuck that imma live my life!