Lullaby Of Pain

Leave Me

... Can't Hold It In Anymore ...

All my cuts are healed,

My scars are slowly fading.

I'm finally leaving the battlefield,

And the dull world I was facing.

Everyday is a brand new step,

Leaving my past behind.

Thinking it would be easy; nothing could prep,

Me for the difficulties I might find.

Everyday I live with this war,

Going on inside my head.

One half says 'be pure',

'You don't want to end up dead'.

I want to listen to the side,

But the other half's always there.

Saying it'd be easier if you died,

No-one would even care.

It affects my daily life,

It's messing with my head.

While you see a knife,

I see something to cut myself instead.

You see broken glass,

I see a blade.

That's why it's not easy as,

Keeping away from where the knives stay.

Sometimes it all becomes too much,

And the dark side wins.

I let the blade touch,

The vulnerable part of my skin.

I was so close to stopping,

But I'll throw it all away.

I know I should be dropping,

The thing that causes me pain.

Too late it's too late,

I've already marked my vein.

I'll have to remember this date,

So I can try and start again.

They say it's part of recovery,

But I feel like I've failed.

What on earth is happening to me?

I should have known I would have bailed.

Relapse, what have you done to be?

Why would you ruin my streak?

Relapse, you are my enemy;

You show that I'm too weak.