Diary of a Newborn Vampire (BOOK #1)

The Capability

Ava

I pressed my hand against William's chest from where we laid, tangled together on the forest floor. We had gone farther back into the woods with every kiss. As we pulled back on our clothes, William rubbed a hand across his face, letting out a short laugh.

I moved over to sit beside him. "What?"

"It's...I can't believe that just happened." He played with a piece of my hair. "You and me. It feels like a dream."

I nodded in agreement. The past hour had been unlike any hour unlike anything I had ever experience. I knew meaningless sex. I knew no strings attached and frivolous fun. But this...Actually feeling something for someone and acting on it...

"What now?" William asked me.

I shrugged. "We could go back into the house, or..."

He laughed again, a low throaty chuckle. "No, I mean what do we do now—about us? What are we? What is this? What does it mean? Do we tell the others? They're bound to find out at some point. Especially with the bond and all. Wow, I'm sorry. I'm making this awkward, aren't I?"

"Sort of."

"Well, how about we wait? We tell them when you're ready." He grabbed my hand in his own, running his fingers across my palm. "We don't have to jump right into this."

I traced the lines of his palm. "Isn't that what we just did?"

"For some people, yes." He nodded. "But for us, I think this was the first step. It felt necessary before the real stuff. With our bond and all not being like the others. With your past and how you feel. Some people work differently. I understand that, Ava."

I pulled my hand from his and wrapped my arms around my legs. "I get it," I told him. "I'm broken. It's nothing new, you know. People have told me that I'm too banged up to experience a normal relationship."

"And we're not normal."

I glanced over at him. "No, we're not. Whatever a blood bond is isn't normal. Our own bond could never be considered normal. But...I don't know. I just thought that one day it would be easier. That I could finally let go. Find the right guy, make a life for myself. Yes, that was before I became a vampire, but...I just only ever wanted to be the best version of myself. I just thought that maybe...maybe I wouldn't be so scared anymore. Then comes this. A blood bond. A lesser opportunity of normalcy."

William's face contorted into a new expression. Something I couldn't quite read. Slowly, he stood up though he continued to avoid me eyes.

"What?" I stared up at him. "What now?"

He rubbed his chin. "It's just...You don't seem very convinced that this is more than part of the blood bond. What you don't realize it that it isn't different for every best reason. It is so much more than that. I've witness bonds between our kind before—they were always fluid. No tension, no drama, no passion. You and I— it's different from anything I've ever seen. But at the same time, I feel it, and I feel more. But you...I don't know. It just seems to have little effect."

I hopped up to my feet. "Are...are saying that even as a vampire, my fear of love interrupts this crazy vampire voodoo? That because of the way it works, that because I may not feel as strongly, that changes things? But at the same time you're feeling go beyond that. And mind could never be on the same level as yours."