Cinnamon Twigs: The Life and Pseudocide of a Celebrity

CHAPTER FIFTEEN: Gorsedd Gardens

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Gorsedd Gardens 

I finished my first year at university and prepared for a hectic summer with Michael. We went on camping trips (as well as a holiday to Faliraki, but more on that later) and enjoyed numerous nights out in Cardiff and Swansea. But we also found time to discuss the future, and how to go into professional acting.

     After calling agencies and enquiring about television work, we landed a couple of jobs as extras. I didn’t mind waiting around on set, pretending the camera wasn’t on me, because I learned a lot about how television worked. Most of our fellow extras did it just for shits and giggles, but Michael and I took it very seriously, even though we knew that standing around on television sets wouldn’t ensure cinematic success. Unlike many other extras, we’d never get caught falling asleep on set, even if we’d been called at 5am. We were always alert and attentive. It’s what we wanted to do for a living. If you come across old episodes with the pause button on your remote at the ready you’ll spot me popping up like Where’s Wally in shows filmed in Cardiff, such as Casualty, Pobol Y Cwm, Being Human, Ar y Tracs, Upstairs Downstairs, Alys, Doctor Who and, believe it or not, performing silently opposite the wonderful Scottish actor Richard Wilson, in Merlin.  

     Michael and I earned some money and gained experience. Later in the summer, we became members of the actor’s trade union, Equity. It used to be the case that you couldn’t do anything without an Equity card, but our foremost aim was to get hold of a proper acting agent. Getting hold of Equity cards was just a way to pamper our egos back then.    

     ‘This is a big steppingstone.’ Michael sipped a pale grey cocktail as we sat at a bar in Cardiff.

     ‘Yeah, but we’re at the very bottom of the ladder, mate. Let’s not kid ourselves,’ I said.

     ‘At least we’re on the ladder now. That’s a big steppingstone from nothing. Every fish out of water is closer to becoming an amphibian.’

     ‘That’s an interesting analogy!’ I laughed.

     ‘I’ve always wanted to be an actor. I can’t imagine being anything else. It’s like I was born to do it.’ He placed his glass on the polished surface of the bar and motioned to the waiter for another drink. ‘And then I met you. Someone who has what it takes, and is as determined as I am. It’s gonna be hard work, and it could take us years to get anywhere. But we will share the red carpet one day.’

     ‘I really hope so.’ I fumbled with a disposable lighter in my pocket.

     ‘Always believe in yourself. Trust your instincts, and trust your mental insight. Perspicacity is the key to admission.’

     ‘Uh, yeah, of course…’

     Sometimes I really didn’t know what the fuck Michael was talking about when he spoke in dubious riddles and used words I’d never heard before. But I knew he would always be by my side, egging me on. He was the best friend an aspiring actor could ask for, full of infectious confidence, and he would be there to instill self-belief despite the inevitable rejections. He might have been cocky, but he knew he’d picked a difficult dream. His presence would carry him all the way. I had no doubt about it. He had it made from the beginning. 

     When we entered our second years at Cardiff University, we knew we’d made progress. We intended to graduate and get decent jobs to fall back on when our intake from acting wasn’t high. We knew the importance of money.

     That September was the most beautiful September of my life. Michael and I liked to drink in the afternoons after lectures, under the shade of Lord Ninian Edward Crichton’s statue, in Gorsedd Gardens. We’d smoke cigarettes and watch the pretty girls pass by. Students ran across the turf, attacking each other with water guns. Others bathed in the sinewy rays of light, or read books on Cardiff Museum’s stone steps. Blooming flowers splashed yellows and reds across the Gardens, their lemony scents lingering in the crisp air. Tawny butterflies fluttered over our heads.