The Only One

Infatuation

-4-

For three weeks, I would meet Julieta outside my house and we would walk from there to the daycare center. The remaining two weeks it was my sister Florencia who joined me. We arrived before nine in the morning and left after noon. Playing with those kids was equal parts fun and exhausting. It also meant I wouldn't spend every day at home, lying in bed, devouring books, getting fat, which had been my sport of choice during the previous vacations.

I was living the dream, and it felt like I was in one too. At times, I forgot that I was only seventeen years old, that I had to go back to school in a few weeks, and in those moments I was truly happy.

Before going back to school, to you, even though I hadn't thought about you on vacation, I took a trip with my sister, my dad, and his family. I guess I did what I always do in those trips, I read and looked at everything that surrounded me. It was as if the only person I had to think about was myself, and that was really easy to do. That's currently my life's philosophy, and it's amazing how liberating it is, and how satisfying it is to do things for me, to buy myself presents, to have me as the center of my universe.

From time to time I thought about Ivan. I had so many crushes before I met you, and even after that, but there's never been anybody like you. Ivan, though, was part of the "before" group. The last time I had seen Ivan had been seven months before, and I doubted he remembered me. Besides, the last time I talked to him, he'd let me know he had a crush on Fernanda, one of my good friends from school. She's one of those people who still call me her friend although we haven't actively talked in years and the only times we see each other are when Julieta does her famous get-togethers, usually for her birthday.

My dream vacation ended the day I had to wake up early again to go to school. The official first day, after the week we had to take this mandatory two-day course, was full of celebrations. It took me a week or two to get used to the routines again, including waiting for Sandra to open the drama room after lunch.

You went back to your routine of appearing by lunchtime and going to the gym, every afternoon. I had forgotten about you, I realized it when you became a constant again. And that idea of wanting to get to know you came back, just like that.

-5-

It had been a month since I'd gone back to school, so it was mid-September, around the time when Colombians celebrate our version of Valentine's Day. So far senior year had gone as expected, meaning harder than junior year, and busier, and more nostalgic, of course. Everything I did my senior year was also going to be my last as a high school student.

Everything seemed the same as before –even what I felt towards you was just the same as a few months back. Apparently, at least according to my friends, I was distracted, but it wasn't because of you. A year earlier I had met Ivan, and I had never met someone who would be so right for me, even if he didn't like me back, that is. It makes sense, no? That around the time when people give each other roses and chocolates and declare their love for each other I would start thinking nonstop about a guy I'd had a crush on the previous year and was still hung up on.

Right after meeting each other at this class we took to get university credits while at school, we did talk often and we had become friends. But, of course, I wanted more than just a friendship. As time passed by and the classes were over, we stopped seeing each other and eventually we stopped talking, too. I tried my best to get over him, but I couldn't. It hurt to know we weren't going to be friends anymore, but it hurt even more to know he was into one of my friends.

It was a Friday and seniors were in charge of some Love and Friendship Day activity for the whole school, which meant we didn't have class after lunch. My best friends said I was annoyingly happy and perky, probably because of the theme of the day, probably because I skipped some boring class.