hotline bling » jack gilinsky

nine

after asia taking me to get my car and parting our ways, i decide to go over to jack's, just to figure this whole thing out. i sit in my car on the driveway, hoping that nobody else is here because that would make for much more roadblocks.

i suck if up and get out, walking up to the front door. instead of barging in, like i would've a year ago, i respectfully and politely ring the doorbell. i patiently wait, tapping my foot against the concrete below me.

the door swings open and jack looks up from his phone. his face resembles surprise and his eyebrows are raised.

"hey." he gives me a smile.

i purse my lips, "hi, i came to talk."

"your friends aren't here." he chuckles.

"no, i mean to you. i came to talk to you." i tell him.

"oh, come in." he says, opening the door wider. "i didn't know you wanted to talk to me."

"yup, that's a change, isn't it?"

i bite the inside of my cheek, walking straight into the living room. he stands in front of me and that's when i examine what he's wearing; casual male attire.

"what'd you want to talk about?" jack asks me, nervously.

"i'm honestly so confused." i truthfully confess.

i'm talking to him like he's a therapist or something.

"confused? about what?" he asks.

"jack, don't act dumb. at least not now. i'm confused about you- us." i say in one breath.

his eyebrows pull together and he slips his iphone in his front pocket. now that i've said that, all of his attention is placed on me. this just made everything harder and more difficult to explain.

"what are you saying? what about tra-"

i cut off his words, "i told him we needed a break and then he said 'why would we have needed a break, we aren't dating'." i try and mimic a deep voice.

i let out a breathy and forced laugh. now that i'm actually processing and thinking about it, i want to huddle up in a ball and cry. should i even go back to him? jack bites his bottom lip, watching me intently and trying to gauge my reaction.

"i don't know what to say." jack tells me, making me roll my eyes.

"none of you boys do." i huff, taking a seat on the couch.

"i'm not saying it like that." he rushes, sitting down next to me. "you already know that i'm starting to like you again and that my feelings for you are developing all over again."

"i know and that's the thing. i want to like you back too and i might a little bit. i want to be able to trust you." i say quietly and i can see a little sparkle of light appear in his eyes.

"and you can trust me. i'm not gonna do anything bad to you or hurt you. have i ever?" he softly asks and i shake my head.

jack was good to me. too good and i didn't deserve him. why do i think that i deserve him now?

"yeah, but that was when you were a little noodle and unattractive." i joke. "now you're hot and successful. the chances of you hooking up with someone else has become higher."

"i wouldn't cheat on you." he shakes his head. "maybe i'd kiss someone on the cheek for a pose, but i'd never intentionally cheat on you." he tells me.

his words put me at ease. a little part of me is still bothered by him and lizbeth before. there's a possibility where it could be good for us to start dating again.

"sure, i'm annoying sometimes, but i just like to get on your last nerve. that's all." he slightly smiles to lighten up his words.

i roll my eyes and smile, trying not to blush like a complete fool, "i've noticed."

"but what exactly are you trying to entail? do you want to try another us?"

"i mean, i want to, but that won't sit too well in lizbeth and travis' stomach." i tell him.

"so what? they'll have to suck it up." he shrugs. "there's already tension between you and liz."

my eyebrows furrow at his nickname for her, "yeah, thanks to you."

"hey, i'm not the bad guy here." jack puts his hands up in defense.

"and i am?" i snap, a sudden surge of anger rushes through me.

"geez, you're short tempered now." jack comments, whistling through his teeth. "and i didn't say that, did i?"

"you probably wanted to." i bark. "everything is always on-"

jack cuts me off by pressing his lips against mine, lightly pushes me down on the couch. my brain stops processing and my mind suddenly turns blank. his kisses feel exactly the same.

i shove him off of me when i realize what's happening, "jack! what the hell?

"oh come on. if i didn't do that, god knows what else would've slipped out of that pretty little mouth of yours." he says and i growl at him.

i run my hand through the hair, sitting back up, "i pretty much just cheated-"

i cut myself off. travis and i are on a so called break and we weren't even dating, so that wouldn't even be cheating? jack just smirks at me and i probably looked really dumb just thinking about that.

"what's so wrong with trying us again?" jack throws his hands up, leaning his back on the couch.

"i don't like when you leave for a long time-"

"it's my job." he remarks.

"i get that, but i'd feel like you'd never talk to me while you're gone and i don't like the hate that would come with it." i say.

"who cares about hate? do you know how much karina is getting and does she give a fuck?" he curses and i hadn't thought about that.

"i just need time-"

"of course you do." he scoffs. "take all the time you need."

he stands from the couch and begins to walk out of the living room. i grow more and more confused with all of his actions.

"where are you going?" i ask him, raising my voice slightly.

"leaving you alone and giving you time to think." he mocks.

i let out an aggravated sigh. my life is a complete mess. it should be turned into a reality tv show.

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