Would you take me back?

“Calum Wood is in a relationship with Mykah Wong.According to our sources...”

I almost throw the remote out of the window.

Could this day get any worse?

Paparazzi outside the hotel, mobs and gossips about me that isn’t true? Saying I’m a terrorist because I have a Pakistani blood, criticize because of my religion. That’s bullshit, right? It wasn’t this unbearable before. She’s there for me every day, telling me that don’t mind the news and gossips because I know what the real deal is. Mykah would hug me if she can see that it affects me. I love her. I love her so much more than anyone else, more than I loved Perry. She’s perfect for me even though she doesn’t see herself that way. I’m willing to give up the fame just to be with her every day. I want that. I’d do that but it’s too late, too damn late. I know she’s with Calum already and she seems happy.

And it hurts. It hurts so badly.

The boys see my pain. After the happy face and smiles during concerts, I walk back to the bus with the reality hitting me—I get what I want but why the hell can’t I have her back? Niall would cheer me up with his usual antics. Liam and Louis would make fun of me, which is helpfully irritating. Harry, on the other hand, told me the one thing I wanted to hear but at the same time, kills me.

“5SOS would be our opening act in Manchester. Is that okay with you?”

“Do I have any choice? They’re our friends.” Meaning, I just want to see her at the concert and I will take all the pain just to see her. Yes, Ms. Wong, if you ever read this, I love you that much.

What’s our story, you may ask?

She was a fan from the Philippines. We did a concert there and I saw her. She saw me. We had those slow motion moments that they mention in romance novels. They said that you only have those moments with the one that’s meant for you. Did I fall in love with her at that moment? Yes. Perry and I secretly broke up. Even the stupid press didn’t know about that. It’s our choice and we remained to be friends. I did what I could to have her number and ask her out. As months went by, she is more than what I could ask for. She’s the one.

What made her different from the others are her insecurities and imperfections. I fell in love with those first and I still do. That destroyed us. She depreciates herself, compares herself to Perry every time she sees me with her because of the publicity stunt. It’s the only way to protect her.

“Are you ashamed of me, Zayn?!” She blurted out, mad.

“Of course not! What- How could you even think about that?” I said, frustrated.

Tears are welling up in her eyes. “I didn’t think about it, I feel it.” She said as she walks out of the door. For the first time, I felt my heart crushed, not broken.

After that night, she never returned my calls or texts. I had rough nights. The boys think I’m going to kill myself. To be honest, I almost did.

2 days before the tour in ManU, rummaging through my stuff, Niall Horan just handed me a piece of paper.

“Mate, I think this is yours.” He said as he drags Liam, Louis and Harry out of my bunk. What? Why they have to leave me alone?

Babe,

Hi! I know I might sound stupid because I just called you babe again but I can’t help it. How are you? I’m sure you’ve seen the tweets about Calum and I. That’s true, I love him. I’m happy with him, too. Our relationship is so normal and I don’t feel insecure because there’s no one to be jealous of. I’m sorry for causing you pain. I don’t know how to handle myself. You were successful doing it but I’m dealing with myself. I know myself more than anyone. I know what’s missing. You’ll find it out as this letter end. I sent this in the fan mail rather straight to your address or any of the boys’. I want to be that fan again—that fan that fell in love with you two years ago.

Oh, yeah. I forgot. You have to know that whatever happens, I’ll always love you. In fact, I love you more than Calum. I’m at my happiest state when I’m with you. You make me forget those insecurities. I love that. I love you.

So, I guess, I’ll see you in ManU? :) xxx

Did she just ...

I can’t.

I can’t.

I can’t do this.

Tears just flooded my eyes and I fell asleep hugging her letter.

By the day of the concert, I’m pumped up. I tried my best to forget the note. Rumour has it that Calum and Mykah broke up. I don’t know if that’s true. I mean, I want to but I don’t know. I’m frustrated.

 There are a lot of fans in the stadium which made us happy as ever and performed songs form Take me home and Up all night. My eyes are searching for one girl only and she’s there. Just like when we first met, singing along to the lines of every song just like what a directioner does.

I fall in love again just like the first time.

“I think, this is the perfect time to sing a crowd favourite song. Don’t you agree, Liam?” Harry said. Wait, what song? I didn’t know about this.

“I think so too, mate.” Liam agreed. Louis and Niall nodded in agreement.

The crowd went hysterical. Screaming and shouting as the sofa is being placed in the center of the stage. Am I being left out by my own best friends? The morons.

“We’re going to sing more than this.” And they screamed again. I looked for Mykah in the crowd. I want to dedicate this to her. I want her to feel that I need her and it kills me to see him with Calum.

“She’s over there.” Louis pointed her. She’s in the VIP section, alone. Why is that?

I hear my part approaching, so I caught her attention. I don’t care about the paparazzi or the gossips or the rumours about me. Just don’t they dare to touch Mykah or I will literally bomb their faces. I’ll protect her ‘till the day I die.

“Mykah,” I said her name like a prayer. The boys signalled the crowd to tone down. She looks at me with quizzical eyes. Those lovely eyes of hers, I just can’t stop looking. I stepped down in the stairs, where her seat is just in front of me. I held her hand and smiled.

I never had the words to say.

But now I’m asking you to stay, for a little while inside my arms.

And as you close your eyes tonight, I pray that you will see that light,

That shining from the stars above.

“I love you. Would you take me back?”

She doesn’t talk. She’s looking at me with tears in her eyes.

“Guys, this is Mykah. She’s the love of my life.”

The crowd screamed again. Some were crying and shouting at Mykah to say something.

“I-I-I don’t know what to say, really.”

I felt like was stabbed in the heart again. I can feel my heart being stepped. No, I have to get her back. So, I sing again.

When he lays you down, I might just die inside.

It just won’t feel right.

‘cause I can love you more than this.

I can love you more than this.

The crowd’s noise seems like a whisper. All I can feel is her heartbeat and mine in one beat— and it beats nervousness. She covered her face with her both hands and breaks down. I pulled her into a hug and she breaks down even more.

“Take me back. I love you.” She whispered then kissed me in the lips. I miss that. I kissed her back.

“People, that’s how we love. Zayn will always love you even if she has girlfriend and so are we.” Niall said with a huge grin. “We’re one direction and we love you—forever.” We said in unison.

Before going on stage again, I kissed my girlfriend’s forehead. She smiled that beautiful smile again and I’m happy.

And I know, I’ll always be.