Poems...

32

I walk out and I see
You standing and talking with my friends
I get nervous, not knowing what to do
So I avoid you,
Since you've been doing that
To me the past 4 months.
I try to figure out
Something to say to you
But my mind is blank.
Nothing comes to mind,
Except for how it could go wrong.
"What if he ignores me?"
"What if he doesn't care?"
But I ignore those thoughts
And when you look at me
I give a small smile.
You don't look away
Right away,
So that's better than usual.
And then one of my friends
Gets you to talk to me.
We start talking
About piercings and drugs,
And after about 45 minutes,
It feels like we've talked about it all.
It feels amazing to hear your voice again,
Directed at me,
So I don't question
"Why now?"
"Why wouldn't you talk to me,
Even look at me, before?"
I just enjoy your voice and laugh,
In case it's the last time I'll ever hear them.
I'm terrified it won't happen again,
But the next day,
You're talking to me again.
I just hope that someday
We can go back to being friends,
That I will be able to trust you again.