(okay, second time lucky, no longer what's mine is yours, but Honestly Speaking, because I felt it worked better with the story.)
“What the hell have you done?” I shout, my eyes bulging out of my skull as I stare bewilderedly at my husband who is dry heaving.
“What do you mean ‘what hell have I done?’ You’re the one who told me to pretend it was my penis!” He chokes defensively.
“Yeah, as in keep it in, not prematurely eject it!”
Yes, that did come out of my mouth that quickly.
“Well I’m sorry I’ve never inserted a tampon before.” I was waiting for him to pull that card.
“Ha, ha,” I raise myself from my back and rest on my elbows, “just let me do it.” I make a grab for the tampon resting in his hands but end up knocking it across the bathroom floor.
“No way, okay, I agreed to this, I’m going to make it work, we are going to make it work. Anyway, I don’t want to be the first to fail.” He grabs the tampon and sticks his tongue out in concentration, aiming the tampon between my legs like a mechanic about to go in with his spanner.
“Oh my God you think this is a game, like freaking operation.” I say in realisation, closing my legs in fear. The last thing I need when I’m already PMSing is my husband freaking prodding the dragon.
His face suddenly takes on this hurt expression; even his bottom lip trembles, “No, no, of course not,” Then he winks at me, “I think it’s a competition.”
YOU ARE READING
Honestly Speaking
Художественная прозаAccording to the big book, God made woman, from the rib of a man. A rib, as in that place in between the heart and the groin of a man. Kinda says it all don’t you think.
