Chances are...

How about a moral code?

"And here I thought we were going to end up together. You broke my heart." Smacked my heart in emphasis with both hands.

"Oh well. I can't depend on your mood swings, and you're insane fear of commitment." Kilian retorted.

"Hey I do not have an insane fear of commitment. Just a mild tendency to avoid it as much as I can." Grinning so openly.

"Dude. It's an insane fear. What was your longest relationship?"

"Mmmm probably the last sap I dated. That writer guy. What was his name again Jen?" I yelled across the room.

"Three days and you already forgot his name? Poor Dave." She sympathized.

"Yup that's it!" Snapping my fingers, "Dave." With certainty.

"Serious shit? Nine days is the longest?" Kilian said surprised. Like the little shit didn't know how I operated.

"Yup. If I stay more they start to care and I don't throughout the whole thing. What's the point?"

"Dude the point is actual connection. Being with someone and actually being with them. Sharing vacations, going on dates, having someone to go with to weddings and parties. Sunsets, car rides, and all that crap." Kilian waved a hand in the air.

"You are one sentimental piece of shit, you know that?" Laughing my head off, "dude no wonder you're single!"

"Maybe I'm not?"

"Huh?"

"I'm not Celine. Remember Alex from the meeting? That girl with the black hair and fringe?"

"Nope. Is that her?"

"Nope it's her cousin. Like I'd date someone in the lab." He snorted.

"And the wounding continues." Taking a swig of my beer. I got up and headed straight into the kitchen to get another piece of pizza, a total of five steps. The kitchen was open to the sitting room.

I heard Jen whisper "She has always been this way, ever since Lazaro, she...", I interjected, "Lazaro has nothing to do with anything I do! I am over it! Really! If you two are going to discuss my emotional 'instability'", I said as I pulled my jacket on and wore my sketchers, "I am going for a walk. Enjoy your evening you couple of shits." I didn't even look at them as I left. I haven't thought of him in years. I preferred it that way, not thinking about him as often. Sometimes I couldn't help it really, he seeps into my head in my leisure minute. That couple of minutes before I get out of bed and start the day, I wake up and stare at the ceiling remembering; remembering him.

The night air helped a bit, also the business of the city. In a sea of people, I was never more serene. I just walked. Walking not going anywhere. Oh donuts!

So what! A girl can't get a donut? Im depressed but I'm not going to starve myself.

Donuts help. They always do. Or pizza. Or fries. Or burgers.

Oh fries. Yum. That's next!

As I was getting that delicious strawberry jam stuffed puff heavenly object, suddenly my appetite cut the brakes by one sound and one sound alone.

"Hey"
Oh great. It's enough I HAVE to deal with you in the lab, didn't expect to see him in the outside world.