Rejecting Love

CHAPTER ELEVEN:

Caiden POV

What have I done? I sit on the back porch, staring down at my hands. Closing my eyes I try to remember last night, the rage that coursed through my body -I lost control.

I curse that soothsayer, or whoever she was all those years ago. She waltzed into our camp on the eve of my 12th birthday, the year I was to be officially named the next Alpha. She begged my father to allow her to give me a gift. He hesitated at first, but eventually gave in.

The gift she wanted to give me was my choice. Of course I refused. I didn't want anything; I wanted to make my own future. She became frustrated but continued to press on. After speaking with her for a while, she was able to lure out my deepest and darkest secret – the fear of failure.

My father and his father before him were such strong leaders –I didn't want to fail them, nor our pack. Using this knowledge she inflicted her own gift, as she called it –more like a sickness.

She instilled within me strength equal to no other, greatness I couldn't have fathomed beyond my wildest dreams. Though with most things, it came with a price –I can't control my anger.

When anger builds up inside me it needs an outlet and this cursed payment is released. My mind loses consciousness and 'it' takes over, my feral side. I remember the first time it happened. I was 14 and to this day the memories still haunt me - I killed a human that was hiking in the woods.

Grief overtook my emotions when I realized what I'd done. I couldn't remember anything, though my body was caked with blood, much like it is now. Later the patrol found the maimed body in the woods – it was a young man not too much older than me.

My dad blamed it on the Alpha growing within me, though I knew better. I locked myself up for months after that, working on self-control. Since then, the only time I've lost it was when the bond broke with Elizabeth...until last night.

Opening my eyes I stare at the caked blood that covers my hands, willing myself to calm down.

"Hey," I hear a soft voice say. The door behind me opens and I get a rush of mint and honey. I freeze in place unsure what to do. I can't let her see me like this.

"Umm...thank you," she whispers, placing her hand on my shoulder as I stand to leave. I flinch at the calmness her touch gives me.

"You have nothing to thank me for," I manage to say, still facing away from her. I can't bear to think of the marks left upon her body.

Her hand moves down my arm, unclasping my hands. She moves in front of me and looks me in the eye. My pulse begins to race, but at the same time a feeling of tranquility wraps around me. A sensation I've never known.

I embrace her hands with my own and gently lift them to my lips, kissing her knuckles.

"Lucinda please forgive me. I told you I'd protect you and I failed," I whisper hanging my head low. Cringing upon seeing my blood stained hands, thinking of all the possibilities last night may have been.

"Hey," her soft voice carries through my dark thoughts. "It's been a few days since I've shifted and ran, are you up for it?"

"A few days?" My heart pounds at this new information.

"Yes, four and a half days to be exact, since Dylan and Gavin found me," she says.

"A run will do good," I manage to say through my clenched jaw at the realization it's been more than just one night since I lost control.

Lucinda POV

Running through the woods, the thick forest opens up to a beautiful meadow covered in a blanket of wildflowers. I stop at the edges, staring in awe at the wondrous sight in front of us. He stands next to me for a moment before darting out into the open chasing butterflies. I snicker to myself and chase after him. We rumble and tumble playfully throughout the afternoon. He catches me off guard and I fall, hard, when he pounces.