Valentine Morgestern

Valentine Morgenstern- Epilogue

Life in Manhattan was terrifying to say the least. I was used to almost silence but this place was nosy and loud with constant bustling activity and a crazy amount of lights. I found a flat and furnished it modestly. To my surprise mundanes had no real need of painters so I sold enough of the Morgenstern jewellery to have savings for after the baby was born in case I fell into a state of depression again.

The baby. There was my biggest worry there. Every night I dreamt of another demonic creature being born and every night I cried my heart out when I realised I'd already lost one child. I wasn't sure I could lose another.

My waters broke at three one morning and in a state of terrified horror I called for a cab and made my way to hospital.

The mundane hospital was so different to what I had been expecting. It was so white and so bright with lights. The sounds, the beeping, shoes squeaking on polished floors and the hum of medical equipment.

"Is this your first baby?" A nurse asked me.

I thought hard for a second before lying, "Yes."

"It's okay to be nervous, you know?"

"I know."

"Don't you have anyone you want to call?"

"No."

"The Father?"

"He's dead," I lied.

"Oh I'm sorry," the nurse said as her face crumpled with sympathy and she patted my hand.

I shook my head and rubbed away a tear that had sneaked across my careful guard. The hospital was a weird place. I'd noticed that mundanes seemed to be so much more open and emotional than Shadowhunters. Even in this place mundanes chattered and freely expressed emotions, one couple kissed following every contraction and all I could notice was that I was here alone. It was odd how quickly after spending time with them I'd become more like them and now I was more emotional.

It was surprisingly different to giving birth in Alicante. It was strange. When they handed me my baby they had wrapped it in a white blanket so similar to the one Jonathan had been wrapped in that I almost begged them to take it away. With a shaking and gentle touch I pushed the white blanket back from over the baby's face and their eyes opened wide. I forced myself to gaze into them searching for any trace of a black inky colour but to my overjoyed amazement I saw they were perfectly blue, a crystal, sky blue. There could be no mistaking the fact that they were blue. A few happy tears slid down my cheeks and I held it close, drinking in its warmth.

"Congratulations Ms Fray on your baby girl," the Doctor murmured.

"It's a girl!" I repeated in shock.

I'd never imagined the specifics of this child I'd only hoped they'd be nothing like Jonathan and they'd be perfectly pure and fully human. I could hope for nothing more. Now I was holding her I could barely consider letting her go. I ran my finger over the smooth dusting of red hair on her head. She looked nothing like Valentine nor Jonathan who had been all angles and fine. No, she was like how I'd looked in baby photos, she had taken all of my looks and none of her Father's and I loved her all the more for it.

"Do you have a name?"

"Yes, Clarissa Adele Fray," I murmured.

The name was something that I never would have been allowed to call her if she had been born whilst Valentine and I were married but it was what I wanted. It was girly and honoured my Mother who'd been murdered in cold blood by my husband.

As I gazed lovingly into the face of my innocent daughter I smiled, she was incredibly perfect. The only thing that could make her better was if she had a blind inner eye but right now that didn't matter. All that mattered was I had her and she had me. I loved my daughter in away I'd never loved Jonathan. I could finally forgive myself for not loving Jonathan because now I could pour every ounce of love I had to give into Clarissa. I'd spend the rest of my life loving and protecting her and hopefully that would be enough to make up for the sins of my past. My sins of loving Valentine, being naive enough to drink all the drafts he'd given me and never being fully able to love my son. Maybe now I could finally heal and leave my old life behind. I'd never forget my past because it made me the person I was now but now I could learn from it and sometimes that's enough.

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A/N I'd like to say thank you to everyone who has read this story as it is the first completed story I have ever published onto Wattpad. A special thank you goes out to Mortallove1 for your votes and comments, they have been very much appreciated and I've loved getting feedback from you! Another special thank you goes out to Rayraythecrazy for your continual support in the form of votes, I have really appreciated this too. If it weren't for you guys I probably would have quit after the first chapter so thank you for giving me the drive to finish my first story!