Scars and Love

Part 1

Scars & Love - Part 1

Emily's POV

I wake up to yet another school day, but i wish i didn't. I'm so sick of my life and i just want to end it, but i'm to scared to die. My parents passed away 4 months ago, so my life have been even more hard these moths. I get bullied every day and i have no friends. I struggle from depression and i self-harm which makes it all worse...

I look down at my sheets... They're full of blood again after i cut last night. I usually cut my thighs and stomach the most, so my aunt who is now looking out for me don't see it.

I get up from bed and walk over to the mirror. "Hey there bloody" I say and look down at my orange-red naked thighs. The blood from the cuts have now been rubbed out all over my thighs...

I hear a knock on the door and panic. I put a blanket over my sheets as fast as i can and then i throw some grey sweatpants on. "Come in" I say with my happy voice. My brother Steven walks in. "Hey, have you seen my hair-wax?" He asks. "No" I say and lift my shoulders. He rolls his eyes and walk out again, but he doesn't close the door.

Steven is 2 years younger than me and sort of a 'bad boy' you can say. He doesn't give a shit about anything. He just sleeps around with messed-up girls and smoke weed. He didn't take the fact that we didn't have any parents as well either.

I take my sweatpants off and put some blue jeans on along with a black, tight sweater, then I grab my bag and walk downstairs. "Breakfast?" My aunt asks. I just shake my head and sit down at the couch. My aunt sighs and walks towards me. "Emily... Are you ok?" She asks and pet my head. "Yeah, i'm fine" I say and give her a weak smile. "Sure?" She asks. "Yeah" I say. She walks into the kitchen again. I lied to her... I lie to everyone. I'm not fine. I wan't to die...

"I'm driving you two to school today" My aunt say as Steven walks downstairs. "Ok" I say quickly and turn the TV on. "I'm actually gonna walk" Steven says, but both me and my Aunt knew that he hates walking. "No, i'm driving you" My aunt says and walk over to Steven. "I'm staying home then" Steven says as he walks upstairs. "No, you're not!" I yell after him. He stops in the middle of the stairs and walk down again. "Fine" He says with his cliched jaw. My aunt sighs as she grab the car-keys. "Let's go" She says and we all walk out in the car.

*At school//Gym-Class*

I walk out in the gymnasium and sit down at a bench. "Ok. Start warming up" My gym-teacher says. I do as he says and start jogging a bit. "Loser" A bitch yells at me. "Look at the way she runs" Someone else says behind my back. I roll my eyes and keep running, then someone decide to put a leg in front of me so i trip and fall.

"Ouch" I say and get up again, my hand hurts like hell. "Walk it off" My gym-techer says. I keep running and then the teacher blows the whistle. "Stretch out" He yells. I find an open spot and stretch my arms down to my toes... Then i hear laughing again. "Malik... That's inappropriate" The teacher yells and i stand up. I turn slowly around and there is Zayn, the schools bad-boy. "Nice ass" He says, smirking at me. I raise an eyebrow at him and then he gets behind me and smack my ass. I gasp a bit and all i wanna do is turn around and punch him, but he has already walked away...

*Math class*

I sit behind Zayn in math and all i still wanna do is punch him. He's such a pig. The teacher asks Zayn a question and Zayn just lifts his shoulders. "I don't care" He says and look over at some friends who is laughing at his answer. Then the teacher asks me and i answer right away. "Good job" The teacher says smile at me. "Nerd" Zayn mumbles under his breath. "At least i'm not dumb" I answer back irritated. "Are you calling me dumb?" Zayn says loudly. "Be quiet mr. Malik" The teacher yell. "Worthless bitch" Zayn mumbles. His words was like a knife in my stomach... I am worthless.

As soon as the class ends, i grab my shit and run to the bathroom. I take a razor-blade out of my bag and pull up my sweater. I slowly put the razor-blade on the side of my stomach and drag it down my skin. I can feel the blood dripping and it is such a relief. The stinging pain is the best part. It makes all the other pain go away.

The school day flies by and i'm walking home alone.

I walk and breathe in the fresh air and then suddenly a car stops beside me. The car door opens and my first thought is that now i'm getting kidnapped or raped...

But Zayn is coming out of it. I don't say anything... I just stand there, frozen and i cant' even breathe. "What is your problem with me?!" Zayn yells at me. "What is your problem with me?" I ask back. "Who do you think you are to call me dumb?!" Zayn yells. I don't say anything, I'm just looking down at the ground. Then Zayn grabs the sides of my stomach with his nails. I whimper, because his nails is deep into my fresh cut. "Tell me!" He commands. "You're hurting me" I whimper. "I'm barely near you" Zayn says. "Let go, please... Please just let go?" I beg as a tear fall down my face. "Pussy" He says and let go. Then Zayn looks down at his fingertips on his left hand and freeze. "Did i do that?" He asks shocked. I just shake my head and walk away.

"Hey... Hey!" Zayn yells after me. I turn around. "Come over here!" Zayn yells. I stand still a bit before i walk back to him. "Get in the car so no one see me talking to you" He says and open the back-door. I hesitate a second, but jump in. Zayn gets in after me and close the door.

"Why is your blood on my fingers?" He asks. "I don't know" I mumble and look down at my hands. "Lift up your sweater" He commands. "What?!" I yell at him angrily. "Lift it up or i'll do it" He says. "Are you gonna rape me or something?" I ask and raise an eyebrow at him. "No" Zayn says. "I don't think you can handle it" I say and are about to open the door, but Zayn locks it. "Are you kidnapping me?" I ask him. "Lift up your shirt" He commands again. I put my bag down beside me and take my sweater completely off, so that i'm just in my black, laced bra. I look at Zayn's face... He's gasping.

"Who did this to you?" He asks and grabs my hand. "Erm... I did" I say and try to look away, but Zayn turns my head back to him. "Do... do you cut?" He asks surprised and i just nod slowly. "Why?" "Because i'm worthless" I say quickly. I can see on Zayn's face that he's thinking. "Is it because i said you were?" He asks as he's face gets even closer to mine. I don't say anything, but Zayn get's the point. "I did this to you..." He says and carefully touch it, causing me to whimper. "I am so sorry" He says and look at me with puppy eyes. "I-I'ts ok" I mumble. "I'm Zayn" He says and shake my hand. "I know... I'm Emily" I say back. Everything in this moment was just perfect.

Zayn leans in closer to my face and softly kiss my lips. And with that... Zayn is my first kiss.

(A.N)

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