kanye west vs. the world

chapter 4: cash ketchup

Ploop! The wormhole takes Kanye and the Queen to a strange weird world. A sign that says "Welcome to Pokeland!" appears in front of them before they both, yes, once again, become unconscious. Kanye's the first to wake up, only to notice a boy with a red cap pacing back and forth with a strange yellow animal. The boy with the red cap stops pacing and stares at the Queen and Kanye, pauses, then announces, "Hey you, I challenge you a battle!" The boy runs up to Kanye and the Queen and pulls out a red and white ball. "Wait, wait, wait, we ain't fighting or anything right cause if we are.. I will literally beat you to a pulp ..." Kanye states. "Whoa whoa whoa, it's not a fist fight, don't worry dude," the boy said, backing up.

Kanye looks around for a second, and then says to the boy "Waait a second, wait wait, wait... wait. Boy, what's your name..?" The boy with the red cap replies with "My name is Ash, and this is pikachu, but you can call me Cash because I make them pokedollars RAIIIN." Kanye starts to laugh, but then makes a straight face. Stop. Wait a minute. Ohmygod. We're in a pokemon land. Pokemon?! This is so confusing. Why here out of all places? Will there be more places after this? Why did I get caught up in all of this? All I wanted was my croissant. What is life? What isn't? Yeezus. He keeps thinking all of these deep thoughts until one tear falls down his cheek. "Hey man, are you crying?" Ash asked. "NOOOooOOo!" Kanye sucks the tear back up into his eye socket. "Forget what you saw ash ketchup! You saw nothing!" "It's KETCHUM! BUT ANYWAY, Okay! Go Pikachu!" Ash shouts with a passion. "pika pika.. PIKACHUUUU!" A thunderbolt shoots out of the animal and burns a nearby tree. "Woah!" gasps the queen and Kanye in unison. "Alright.. LET'S SHOW EM WHAT YOU GOT, STEELIX!!" The Queen shouts as she throws her pokeball in the air, and an enormous steel snake emerges out, surrounded by a white flash. The background of Pokeland disappears, and transitions into a game like arena. It's almost like we're having a real life pokebattle! We are you dingus. What?? Who's that?! Queen E. YOU CAN READ MY MIND?! Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that didn't I. YEEZUS, I SWEAR WOMAN. YOU HEARD NOTHING. Suuuure. "Ugh! Let's just get this over with," Kanye replies out loud with an annoyed tone. The Queen begins to laugh, "You're a funny man Kanye. Okay let's do this! STEELIX, USE DIG!"

Steelix follows her order, and dunks himself face first in the ground, only to vanish completely. "Wow! Well that's great! Now how are we gonna win ---" "Kanye! You literally haven't even waited a second!" the Queen replies with an angry tone, "That's how we got in this mess the first place anyway, you couldn't even wait for your croissant to be ready!" "Hey, I was hungry.. and come to think of it, I still haven't eaten yet! So if you could like, you know, win whatever this is, that would be great!" Kanye said, a hint of sarcasm becoming more obvious in the end of his sentence. "Oh hush Kanye, GO STEELIX, NOW!" Steelix breaks through the ground with a powerful force and strikes Pikachu right in the stomach. Pikachu goes flying in the air and slam dunks into the ground. "pika...pi..." Pikachu faints, and the Pokemon battle is over.