danye 4 ever

2

"potato wedges!!!" dan cursed, pacing around his room.

Obama had just called to inform him of the new power couple.

dan was angry af. phil knew he had a crush on kanye, that was all he ever talked about. he wanted kanye so badly, but kim was always in the way. and the moment she wasn't phil came in and stole dan's precious lamp.

lamp was dan's nickname for kanye, because he brought light into his life.

dan's nickname for phil was mouthful. you can guess why.

dan collapsed on his toddler sized bed with pink barbie bedding. he'd had the bed since he was four and his ogres—I mean parents wouldn't allow him to get a new one.

it didn't really matter if his bed was comfy or not because he didn't really do that much sleeping at night, if you know what i mean.

what i mean is that he stayed up all night reblogging photos of kanye on his tumblr account.

suddenly dan got a call from feel.

"sup m8!!!???!!?.,!"

"get in me mums car we're going shopping loser"

ferret hung up after that and dan  walked outside. he found phil waiting inside a Porsche.

"where did u get that from, fire truck???!???!"

"lol Kanye got it for me....!!!?!!"

"kanye??!?!!?"

"lol you pronounce daddy weird"

"what?!!??!"

"lol nothing. get in we're going to a party!!!!!!2236511!!"

"what's that?"

"lol get the fUCK IN BEFORE I CASTRATE YOU AND SELL YOU TO RUSSIAN CONVICTS!! ok lol??!!?"

dan climbed into the vehicle that smelled of urine and brittany spears perfume. that was dans favourite scent to breathe in threw his cocaine covered nostrils. lol drug abuse. what else would he buy with all that YouTube money tho?

the drive to kanye's house was really long because dan lived in the ghetto. kanye lived in the best neighbourhood in town. blue neighbourhood.

hahahahah do you get it???!!? because of troye??!!? hahaha lol

they arrived and went into the house full of people and random items like dildos and kraft mac and cheese.

kanye came running down the stairs in a purple onesie. he held 2 bottles of vodka and a small hamster.

"heard you like hamsters, philllllly!??!!"

"lol no that would be dan" fishnet said, pointing to dan.

"oh wow lol. hi dan!!!125511!!!1!1!" kanye exclaimed, tackling dan's sexy body.

kanye felt something hard. he unzipped dan's pants and pulled out a large sausage.

"lol my maid can cook that for you"

michael clifford walked out from the basement full of turtles and cherry lube. he was dressed in a sexy French maids outfit, and calum hood was checking out his ass from behind him.

"lol I can totally cook it for yah m8!!!!!123!!235!!1"

michael took the sausage and left, cabin following close behind.

"how bout I give you a room tour!" kanye exclaimed, jumping off of dan.

dan and kanye began walking away when they noticed fill crying. dan threw a box of Kraft mac and cheese at Phil.

"don't cry, Kraft!!!"

Phil walked away mumbling something like "will you cook this for me michelle!!??!!"

dan and kanye climbed the stairs until they reached kanye's big ass bedroom. it was literally a room full of replicas of kim kardashian's ass.