a mile in my shoes

my story: part one

I've been through a lot, I've seen a lot, I've felt a lot. This is my story.
I lived with my mother for the first ten years of my life. And my sperm donor ( I call him that because that's all he is to me now), was in and out of my life due to his drug addiction until I moved to New Mexico with my mom and step dad and all of my siblings. My mother had tried to contact him before we left, but being the deadbeat dad he was, he never answered. So we left.
About seven months later, I received a phone call. It was him. I had finally gotten over him, I had finally forgot he was my father. And then two months later, he took my mom to court for kidnapping me, and I had to live with him. I was there for six ugly years.

In the beginning it seemed safe, but it wasn't. I'm not going into the details but I will say this: there's was so much neglect, there was so much abuse, and yelling and screaming and crying for help. There was blood and bruises and black eyes. So much pain. I wanted help, I just couldn't get it, because everytime CPS came to save me, they didn't have enough proof and I ended up getting the worse when they left. I had tried running away three times. The first two times they found me, and dragged me back in to that lonely hell hole. Until I finally got away the third time with proof.
My father had went in the back to get high. After he was done he came in to eat his candy, but it wasn't there. He asked everyone where it was and no one would fess up to taking it, so it was blamed on me. He came in my room and punched me right in the jaw, it hurt like a bitch, my teeth had cracked. I can't really recall the rest of what happened, he knocked me out. When I woke up again he was screaming at me and was still hitting me. Finally, my step momster pulled him off of me. I was in so much pain, there was so much blood on my face, I could taste it in my mouth. My hair was matted with sweat and his spit. I decided that was the last time and he was going to pay for what he had done to me all those years. I waited until everyone went to sleep and left out of my window. That night, I didn't go to a friends house or anything. I just roamed the streets. The next day I went to my boyfriends school and just lurked in the bathrooms all day. That day I stayed with my friend. The day after that her parents took me to my grandfather's house where they called the cop and that night I ended up in Foster care for five months. But that's another story for another day. Now I live with my mom again, I have a better life here and I couldn't ask for more.