a mile in my shoes

my story: part two

I don't really know how it started or when it started and I don't remember it ever being good, but when I lived with my dad it always horrible . I wasn't allowed to do anything, I wasn't even allowed to have friends. But I'm not going to talk about that today, today I'm talking about how he killed all of my dreams and hopes.

I love singing and music, and I love astronomy and history. I used to dream about being a famous singer, I tried sharing this with my father but he told me that wasn't possible because I'm not good at singing. So I joined choir to show him that I can do it, but every time I got a solo part in the show he never showed up to see. So I gave up, I stopped going to the concerts and stuff. My freshman year in high school, I started getting into astronomy. I loved it, I love knowing that a star a billion miles away could be dead and still be shining so bright. Later that year my English teacher had us write about what we wanted to be after we finish college and stuff and I wrote about how I wanted to be an astronomer ans I got an A on it. I took it home and showed it to him hoping he'd be proud of me. Instead when I showed him he told me that it wasn't possible because I wasn't smart enough. I cried, I cried because he didn't believe in me. That's all I wanted him to believe in me. But he shot me down. So since he thought I wasn't smart enough I brought home A's and B's the whole year and the next. But even that wasn't enough. He even told me since I was so smart that I wasn't allowed to ask the teachers for help anymore, and I also wasn't allowed to ask for extra credit or make up work. I started to think that school wasn't important so I gave up on school, I gave up on everything and just became really depressed. I wanted to die, I wanted to end everything and I tried many times but I couldn't bring myself to do it. So I cut, until I found an outlet. Running, it helped me forget for a little bit, I felt like the better and faster I ran I was closer to a normal life. Until I wasn't allowed to run anymore because I had too many friends now. I couldn't do anything at all. So I wrote, and this time I never showed him. I never showed anyone. I was embarrassed that it might be horrible or something . I had become embarrassed of who I was, and I was gone. The old me was always happy and was very outgoing and friendly but I now I was bitter and lonely.

Sorry for the extremely late update, I've been really busy trying to get my grades up... yes I have problems communicating with my teachers now, I'm working on it.... plus I wasn't really sure what to write about. I kept having dreams about my dad and it was really bugging me so I decided to write about him.

Please tell me what you think about the stories so far in the comments, I would really love to know what you all think, thanks.

~F.L❤