A Bridge In The Storm

chapter nine

A/N:
surprise! another update. you're welcome☺️
I figured since the last one took so long to publish, this one should be a lot quicker.
I don't really have much else to say.
(Halloween is coming YAY)
so yeah... this chapter is pretty short, I guess. it's less than 2000 words (my average) so idk.
hope you enjoy it.
love you guys.
thanks for reading!
-p

i wound up dropping Henry off at Starbucks. no matter what he was saying, I needed to make sure Luca was okay. I knew was it was like to not be fine at all and I never wanted him to feel that alone. if there was something I could do, I had to do it.
as Henry exited the car, he sighed deeply,
"be careful, Blair." he muttered before slamming the door to my car a little harder than needed, sending a rush of cool air my way.  momentarily, I wondered what he was talking about, but the thought soon faded as the slightly muted music played throughout the car, filling my mind with simpler thoughts.
I let hope that Luca was at the park drift through my thoughts. I mean it was the perfect place to run away to, an abandoned playground (also a good setting for a horror movie, but it's not the type of story, sorry)(tbh if it was, I would make myself pee my pants)(I scare easily)(and I have a twisted mind)(I'm going to stop now).
I turned a corner onto Main St, pretending that the light was green and not red. I stopped the car when I reached the playground, parking it on the side of the street and turning off the ignition. the trees on the edge of the road blocked me from seeing anything other than the outlines of the play structures. I sat in silence for a while before taking a deep breath and exiting the car, immediately hit with a blast of cool air. I zipped up the hoodie that Henry had given me, thankful for it now as I walked towards the park.
the wind blew across my face, my hair blowing everywhere. a couple autumn leaves, knocked from their branches drifted across the mulch on the playground.
as I got closer I noticed a small cloud of smoke emitting from the area around the swing set. curious, I walked a little faster until I could see the image clearly. sure enough, it was Luca.
he sat on the bench next to the swings, a cigarette between his teeth, his eyes red and swollen, obviously from crying. I felt my heart break at the site.
his hair was tousled as if he hadn't even bothered to tame it this morning. his body was adorned in a pair of black jogger sweatpants with his signature, black, torn converse. he had on a thin, black wind-breaker that couldn't have been keeping him warm, but the cold seemed like the least of his problems (the cold never bothered him anyway).
I watched as he took the cigarette out of his mouth, tapping it lightly to get rid of the ashes and then taking a long drag from it, looking up at the sky as he let out a smoky breath between his slightly purple lips.
he didn't notice as I approached, his thoughts were elsewhere. part of me wondered what he was thinking about....
"those things aren't good for you, you know?" I said, approaching him.
he looked up instantly, a surprised, but completely nonchalant look on his rosy face,
"won't matter in the end anyways, right?" he said, taking another drag. I shook my head at him and sat down on the damp bench, it creaking slightly. his eyes didn't follow me as I did this. he continued to look straight on as if he were deep in thought.
"are you okay?" I asked, knowing fully well what the answer was.
he laughed humorlessly and then looked down at his shoes,
"what are you doing here?" he asked me, ignoring my previous question. I shrugged, shoving my hands under my thighs and sitting on my fingertips to keep them warm.
"you weren't at school today and so I got worr-"
"no, how did you know where to find me?" he interrupted, his voice gruff as he extinguished the cigarette.
I searched his face for some type of emotion, but every trace of feeling had disappeared the minute he saw my face. he was hiding from me.
"Henry told me you might be here..."
Luca pulled at the skin on his thumb,
"Henry needs to learn to mind his own business" he mumbled.
the sky was beginning to darken, I noted. that was another thing I had noticed as summer turned to fall; the days were getting shorter by the minute.
I stayed quiet for a few moments, not sure what I was supposed to say. I watched as the wind blew the swings in different directions, the chains creaking as they did so. this park was so lonely and cold. I didn't understand why Luca would come here willingly.
"my mom used to bring me here." Luca said as if he was reading my thoughts. I looked at his face, but it was still blank, no feeling showing. I didn't say a word, but let him continue.
"I have to change my hideout spot every so often so that people like Henry won't find me... but I can't bring myself to leave this place behind..." he said, staring at the sun sinking in the sky,
"this was the last place I felt free." he mumbled to himself, maybe forgetting I was even here. I still said nothing, eager to hear more of the words from his heart.
"I haven't felt that way in a while" he said turning away from me so that I couldn't see any part of his face. he didn't speak for a few moments.
"what's wrong?" I asked.
I saw his broad shoulders shake slightly. assuming it was another one of his humorless laughs, I ignored it, waiting for an answer.
"what isn't?" he said after a bit. I could hear his voice crack slightly.
in that moment, I decided, there was no sound sadder than the crack in his voice.
suddenly I realized that the shaking of his shoulders wasn't in fact his laugher, but his small, concealed sobs. he'd turned away from me so I wouldn't see him cry.
feeling my heart break, I quickly grabbed his face, turning it towards me to look him in the eyes. I gasped when I saw the tears streaming down his hot, red face. he attempted to turn away from me, but I held onto his cheeks tighter, not letting him hide anymore.
his eyes were so blue. and now that they were covered in tears and rimmed by red, they looked more blue than ever, but the brightness had faded to a dull gray; all the happiness that had filled them before, completely gone.
"tell me what's wrong." I commanded, wanting to help in any way that I could.
he only looked at the ground, blinking rapidly to make the tears stop.
"stop hiding from me." I said, "I'm not going to judge you. you'll feel better if you let it out."
he said nothing, but continued to look at the ground.
seeing that this wasn't going to work, i quickly pulled him into a hug, letting his damp face lay on my cold shoulder. I half expected him to turn away from me and avoid me even more so I was shocked when I felt his arms wrap around me. he buried his face in the crook of my neck and squeezed tight. I ran my fingers through his golden hair and mumbled a few incoherent "it will be okay"s in his ear. after a few moments, I felt a dampness on my neck and realized that he must've started crying once more. I now rubbed his back, encouraging him to let it all out. I watched in pain as his body was wracked with violent sobs. after a few seconds of this, he began to attempt to explain what was wrong. I caught only about half of what he was saying due to the fact that he was sobbing and the fact that his words were muffled by the fabric of my (Henry's) sweatshirt. however I caught a few words. he was mumbling something about how
"she just doesn't understand." and
"I'll never be good enough for her" and
"why am I a failure?" and
"I can't do this, I just can't"
most of the words he spoke were saying "why?" or that he "isn't enough"
I shhed him, running a soft hand through his tangled locks, trying to comfort him the best I could. I massaged his scalp and eventually made my way down to his back where I continued to rub. after a few minutes, his sobs began to subside, replaced with deep breaths, sending chills down my spine. even when the sounds of his pained cries had completely gone, he still did not break from the hug, and I knew why.
"I'm sorry..." he mumbled into my shirt, "I should probably explain..."
I shook my head and ran another hand through his hair,
"you don't have to explain anything to me. it's okay, I promise."
I felt him smile against me and then he pulled away.
his eyes were very red and swollen, his nose too. he had a look of relief on his face. he rubbed away any more dampness on his cheeks.
"thank you for that." he said, looking away bashfully, "I really feel a lot better."
I smiled,
"I knew you would. according to this weird dude I met at target, 'a hug could cure any hurt or any pain'."
Luca laughed, sniffling a bit,
"when you say it like that, I sound like a cheeseball"
I patted his shoulder,
"you are a cheeseball, but it's okay."
he smiled at me, looking me in the eyes for the first time that day. I quickly looked down at my feet, knowing the power his eyes had over me.
"I'm sorry I got your jacket all....wait is that Henry's?"
I nodded nonchalantly.
he nodded back, a frown on his face,
"tell him that I'm sorry about getting his jacket all wet."
I nodded,
"I will."
we then sat in the silence of the moment, watching the sun sink in the sky and enjoying the feel of the breeze brushing through our hair and minds, cleansing all negative thoughts and energy. the swing set still creaked and the bench was still wet, but his moment was pure contentment and that's all I really needed.