One shots and thoughts

I just don't care (Hartsquaredbig)

This is a little bit of a depressing one. Sorry about this bit it happened and I can't take it back.

I'm just laying here in bed. A lot of things to do. A lot of things on my mind. Worried about too many things all at once. I can't sleep and I don't want to be alive. It's becoming too much. Too much for me to handle. Too much for me to cope with. So I just don't care anymore. I don't care about anything anymore. I just don't care anymore what is going to happen. What is going to happen to me if I just stay here? Here in bed without moving an inch. People have been coming and people have been going. But I haven't moved an inch in days. I just don't care that I haven't eaten in days. I just don't care that I have lost the feeling of hunger. Maybe forever, maybe just for now. I have survived another day but I just don't care. 

I hear sounds outside my door. Hannah and Mamrie storm into the room. 

"Grace it's time to get up and move. It has been a week and the sadness is over for now." 

I just close my eyes again. 

They pull me up and I feel light headed. They pull off all my clothes and together they managed to get me into the bathroom. 

I feel weak as I'm sitting on the toilet. Using all the support to keep me from falling off. I almost fall off the toilet. Mamrie places me in the shower after it warms up enough. I shouldn't care. But it feels nice. I try to smile a little but I'm too weak. Mamrie showers me and Hannah comes in later with my dirty sheets and some new clothes. I try not to care but it's getting harder and harder.

Hannah made me some food. A cracker and a cup of tea. 

"You need to eat but let's see if you can keep this in first." 

Mamrie places my on the couch and Hannah hands me the plate. I look at Hannah and Mamrie then back to my food. I don't want to eat. I don't feel like eating but these girls care for me. They make me care a little more. I look up and smile. 

"She is starting to be our Gracie again. Now eat. You need it." 

I pick up the cracker and take a little bite. It tastes okay. But I just don't care about it.

I fell asleep again on the couch. Hannah and Mamrie left and wrote me a note. 

'Went shopping for you. We'll be right back. Mames & Harto.' 

I moved myself to the toilet. After I finished I made myself some tea. The food doesn't feel good. So I'll stick to the tea. I fall asleep again. Hannah wakes me up when they are back. 

"Have you eaten anything since the cracker?" 

I know Hannah cares about me but at the moment I just don't care. So I shake my head. 

"I drank some tea." 

"Grace Do we need to force feed you?" 

I look down at my hands and shake my head. 

"I'm just not hungry." 

"As long as you eat a little and drink a lot you'll be fine. But I'm staying here until you are fully yourself again." 

"Same for me. I'm really worried about you." 

I look at my friend. 

"That's so sweet but not needed. I'll be fine." 

"No you will not. You showed us that you cannot, so we will stay until you show us you can." 

We ate together and I went to bed afterwards. Mamrie slept next to me in the bed the first night and Hannah on the ground.

I woke up feeling a little bit better. I drank some water and went to the toilet. I found the girls downstairs. 

"Goodmorning. Do we have yoghurt?" 

I pulled the fridge open and made myself a little bowl. I put in some berries and sat down on the couch. I forced myself to eat because I knew I needed to eat. 

"Great job Grace. You will be your old self in no time."