The Lovely Holmes

Chapter 4

He was sitting in his usual chair, bent over a file.

John's file.

He was entering his mind palace, he had at least 20 different doors, but that's for another time. I steered him towards the one that said Sherlock.

He was standing in the middle of a white room covered from wall to wall with pictures of me. I was standing behind him so he didn't see me when I came in.

"Don't freak out. I'm dead yes but I just figured out how to jump into people's heads. I am here because I need you to protect John. I have never asked a favor of you and never planned to but I need you to protect him, not only from some hit men, I'll tell you about, but also from himself." I said all  this flatly. I tried to keep the emotion out of my voice but it was hard. Mycroft turned to stare at me. For a minute he reminded me of  the brother who would  help me with homework and make me tea when I was sick, but that soon wore off.

"Well, I'd say it's nice to see you but we'd both know I'm lying." He was lying, it wasn't nice to see me, it was great. I could sense that he was trying to control his emotions but I didn't care. I walked up to him and hugged him, awkwardly. 

He was surprised, but happy, and also not willing to admit that. He did eventually hug me back, but then turned away, to conceal his tears.

" I have some names I need you to remember because I can only talk to you in your head." I listed off the names and when I was done he just smiled. "What?" I asked.

"Even in death, you are still the same Sherlock." He replied.

"How's  Greg?" I asked, his response was one of slight surprise but mostly of amusement.

"Good. I see there's no need to ask about John." He replied flatly. I knew it had been coming.

"Yes, I know. That's why I need your help." I told him, turning away slightly to look at all the memories he had of me.

"There are a lot of them." He said, interrupting my train of thought.

"I noticed." I stuck my hand out towards one of him threatening a kid. "What's that about?" I asked absently.

"A kid I black mailed from bullying you." he told me. I was struck, Mycroft had been a good brother when I was little because I needed it and with our age difference he already had the attention he had wanted as a little kid. But as we grew older we grew apart. In middle school he had ignored me and in high school he was in college. 

"Thank you." I replied for lack of better words. What are you supposed to say to that?

"Don't mention it." he said smiling as he looked around the room.

"What time is it?" I asked, remembering that I had a John to get back to.

"It's been almost an hour since you've gotten here, why?" Mycroft told me as I bolted towards the door.

"I promised to see John again, I'll see you tomorrow!" I yelled as I swept out the door and flew across all of London to see my John.

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I was 2 minutes late.

That's 2 minutes where John had time to doubt himself.

2 minutes to question his sanity.

2 minutes to question me.

I burst through just in time to see him collapse on the floor in despair. He looked up at me and his face lit up for a minute. Then it sank back down.

"You said you wouldn't leave again." he whispered as I sat next to him.

"I am truly sorry I'm late. Mycroft and I took a little longer than expected. I did not mean to hurt you, John." I whispered back shamefully. Hadn't I already put him through enough?

"What did you talk about?" His voice held mild curiosity with a bit of loathing, but I ignored it.

"People who I want him to kill." I replied coldly as I thought of the men I had told him about.

"Why do you want people dead?" John asked incredulously, as if he hadn't already experienced enough of it in his life.

"Because they are a threat to you." I told him, he was looking in my eyes now, and I could see him slowly begin to understand.

"Sherlock there is so much I wanted to say. So much I thought I'd never be able to say, and now that I can... I'm scared Sherlock. Scared that this is a dream, or drugs and that I'll soon have to wake up and face the fact that you really are gone." John was whispering and voiceing all the emotions he couldn't put into words. I looked at this sad and broken man. The man I broke. My John.

"John I need you to know that I will never leave. I can never leave, I will always be with you. You are not imagining things! I wanted to tell you so many things when I was watching you from heaven, and now that I'm here I can. I love you John. I've always loved you and just because I'm dead is not going to change that." I didn't know how else to make him understand. So I kissed him.

We just sat there, kissing for some time. Not wanting it to end. At some point John could hear a voice that was trying to call him back to the world. He looked at me with pleading eyes. Ones that said "I have to go."

"Go, I'll still be here. But when you get back we need to talk about getting you a job."