The Lovely Holmes

Chapter 3

Day 1

It had actually been 4 days since Greg had left but this was day one because it was the first day John was able to think clear enough to talk to his therapist.

Talk is kind of an overstatement. Really all he had done was say his name was John and then retreat to a corner of his brain that he used to think.

In a way it was similar to my mind palace, but it was a bit different.

In John's "mind palace" there were only two doors. One labeled life and the other labeled Sherlock.

He chose the one labeled Sherlock.

The great thing about being dead is that I can go into John's head and even thought he doesn't know I'm there I get to see what he's thinking.

John was surrounded by pictures of me, memories of me anything that had to do with me was in here. Including me.

I was standing in front of him, watching him take in all that was surrounding him. He stretched his arm out in my direction and I couldn't help it.

"John." I said aloud, my deep voice echoing inside the walls of his head.

"Sherlock?!" replied John in a confused voice. His face looked all screwed up as I reached my arm out towards his and took his hand in mine.

"You can hear me?" I asked as I pulled him into a hug.

"Sherlock your d-dead!" replied John as he pulled away, still obviously confused.

"Yes, I am but right now you can hear me! John I miss you so much I-" I kissed John. Something I had always wanted to do but never had the courage. But being here, in his head, and seeing how all of his thoughts reflect his true feelings towards me, I worked up the courage.

John resisted at first, still confused at what was happening. How I had mysteriously appeared in his head, and how I was kissing him. When he finally gave up we kissed for a while. When he pulled away I was sad, Damn feelings!

"S-Sherlock, your not going to l-leave again are you?" He asked shakily, looking into my eyes.

"John, I never want to leave you again." I whispered pulling him into another hug.

"Why did you die?" He asked when he had pulled away.

"Moriarty had snipers trained on you, Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade. Either I jumped or you all died. Like you said John 'Friends protect people.' So that's what I did." I was staring at my feet while I told him this. When I looked up I saw his eyes had tears in them, but he was smiling.

"Sherlock, I've missed you..." he whispered. I pulled him towards me and we sank to the floor. He just laid in my arms, crying. I did my best to comfort him but I'm not the most comforting person.

At some point he realized that he was talking to a dead person and was about to freak out when I told him what was happening.

"John, I am dead. We both know this. You are NOT imagining me. I am real. I went to "heaven" as you call it and have been following you since the day after I died. I followed you into your thoughts and because you can dismiss this as your imagination you were allowed to see me. I will be here. Everyday, all night, whenever you need me. I am always with you and will be at your side at all times. I want you to grow old on Earth before you join me. I want you to have a life." I told him, answering all his unasked questions.

"Sherlock, you don't get it. You were my life. Without you in it it feels... empty. I don't want to continue living if your not with me..." John was whispering and then trailed off. I could not allow my friend, my John to kill himself.

"John you... must promise me, you will not kill yourself. For me, please. I will do everything in my power to find a way to come back to you. I... just couldn't "live" with myself if I knew you died because of me." I had grabbed hold of his shoulders and was looking deep into his eyes. He just nodded. "Now, I think you should go back to "life" and eat something. Your not like I was, you have to eat." As I said this I felt fear creep into his thoughts, and eyes. He was scared I woudn't come back.

"Sherlock, what if-" I interrupted him.

"I am always with you, no matter what. Whenever you come back here, to this place we can be together but otherwise, you need to live. I am going to try to see if I can do the same thing with Mycroft in a minute because there is something I have to do, but in one hour you come back I promise I will be here." I kissed him on the forehead and hugged him. He was starting to trust in me again, but not in himself.

He snapped out of and I could swear he felt my presence. I kissed him on the forehead again and left to go find Mycroft.