I Think I Just Legalized Love

chapter 7

7

I lie face down on my bed, one of my arms hanging over the side and the other at an angle above my head on the bed, my eyes focused on the door. After about five minutes of staring, there’s a knock on the door and Dad comes in. He sits at my desk and says, “Want to do something today?”

            “No,” I respond. “I’m fine.”

            Dad sighs and taps his fingers on my desk. “Nothing?” he asks, and I shake my head. “Wanna see Miles?” I shrug my shoulders. “I can take you over there if you want.” I shake my head, and turn so I’m facing the ceiling. I rub my eyes and wait for Dad to leave. Eventually he does, and I sit up in my bed.

            My phone rings, and I answer. “Hello?”

            “Hey, it’s Abby. Miles told me about that secret place you guy have, he wants you to meet us there.”

            “Okay. When?” I ask.

            Abby responds, “Twetny minutes?”

            “’Kay.” We both hang up.

            I take a quickly shower, get into new clothes, and sit on my bed thinking of something else to do to cover my cuts. I look around my room and eventually find this stash of bracelets I have from when Rob went to the Caribbean. I won’t call them ‘manly’ because that just sounds really stupid. I put them on and they cover most of the scars. I head downstairs and see a note on the door.

            Jason, we went out to get something. It’s a surprise. Be back by seven. –Mom and Dad. I write a small response under it: Okay. I went out with Abby and Miles. Not sure when I’m coming back.

            I walk over to the house a few doors down and walk in. I see Miles and Abby on the stairs, and they jump up and hug me, but I don’t hug back. I don’t know why either. We sit on the couch, and say nothing. I wait for someone else to say something because what am I supposed to say?

            “Miles…?” Abby says.

            “Um, yeah. So how have you been since… it?” Miles asks me.

            “I don’t know. First I was just plain traumatized,” I say, “but then I became depressed kind of.” Why am I spilling this out now? They look at me for more, as if worried. “Um, I kind of had to go on anti-depressants, but then stopped taking them because they didn’t help. And for a week, I kind of…” I pause, trying to decide whether I should tell them or not. I don’t need anyone worrying about me because I don’t like being worried about. Eventually I just spit it out. “I got addicted to cutting myself… but I stopped!” They looked concerned – just what I didn’t want.

            “Jason…” Abby says softly. “Why?”

            “I don’t know, I just did that, but I stopped and I promise.”

            “You are one-hunderd percent sure you promise?” Miles asks.

            “Yeah,” I say.

            “Can we see them?” Abby asks. I nod, and take off my bracelets, and let them see. They barely look at them so I put the bracelets back on.

            “So why have I been summoned here?” I ask.

            “I just thought we could hang out,” Miles says. “Get out the house, kind of.”