"Cate, are you listening? You don't look okay"
"Ah, yes. Yes I'm fine."
"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then. Bye, sis!"
"Byeeee??"
Then she went out of my office.
That was Jillian one of my closest client. We've been friends for quite a while now. But why is she here again?
Oh sh*t. What did she ask for again? Why are we going to meet tomorrow?
I looked at the paper that she gave and started to read it. But oh my gosh! Why can't my mind process even a single word?!
I put my elbows on my table and my hands on my head. Damn! My head really hurts. I closed my eyes hoping the pain will pass but it didn't. I don't even know where it really hurts. I don't know if it is my head or I'm just hearing my heart breaking apart?
I tried not to let my tears fall down, but they were to stubborn to listen. They fell and continued to stream down my face.
Moments later I heard a knock. I wiped my tears away and composed myself before saying "Come in."
"Hey. What's wrong?"
"Nothing. My head just aches. And one more thing I don't know what does Jillian asked for. I didn't payed attention to her earlier, I just can't focus."
"Haaaaay. Good thing chismoso ako no?! Sorry, I kinda eavesdrop earlier. She just wants a floral portrait just make it simple daw, she would like to put it on her living room."
"Thank you! Thank you, I don't know what to do without you. But, why were you listening to our conversation?" I asked.
"Secret. Ikaw naman buti nga nakinig ako sa usapan niyo kung hindi hindi mo alam kung ano gagawin mo. Hmp!"
"Haha. Oo na. Sige na chupi ka na Nathaniel!"
"Nate nga Nate! Masyadong banal yang Nathaniel!"
"Sige na! Nate! Oh labas na chupi!" Sabi ko sabay tulak palabas sa kanya ng pinto ng office ko.
After I shooed him off my office, I locked the door and closed all the open tabs that was covering my desktop wallpaper.
"It hurts so much." I just said upon seeing my wallpaper, and looked outside my full-length window. It shows a great view of Manila.
I can't help it but cry everytime. I just can't help myself.
I stood up from my swivel chair and walked out off my office and passed buy Nate's office before heading to the elevator.
"Nate, I'm taking a half day. And maybe I'll take a day-off tomorrow. You're in-charge no buts." I saw him groan but he can't complain I'm the boss.
I waited for my car by the lobby for awhile then I drove off with my red Audi R8.
I parked my car, and went in.
The place was full of solemnity.
It was quiet and peaceful.
It was perfect.
It was where you could be who you want to be.
It is where you could show your true self without hiding anything, because you know you're safe.
I could see a man at the end.I could see Him looking down on me.
His eyes were fully of mercy and compassion to each and everyone.
He could be anyone's best friend.
He'll always make time for you and listen to every struggles you have, and you could be sure you can always trust Him.
I slowly walked down the aisle eyes closed pretending everything was happening right here and now.
Everything was in it's place and my groom was waiting for me at the end.
Half way, I felt my eyes watering up and let every drop slid through my cheeks.
I walked a little more and reached the end.
I gently tilted my head to my right and slowly opened my eyes.
I was hoping for a man to stand beside me but there was none.
My knees turned weak and slowly bent down. I'm kneeling in front of God feeling so lonely and broke.
Silly me, I wouldn't be so lonely if I didn't ran away. I would be at my office right now feeling so gloomy, or maybe at my home preparing for our date tonight with my supposed to be husband. That could have been happening right now, if I didn't commit a mistake three years ago.
